OMionAsk aerrorist!Alright, let me think...YAZID FINNOPINION WRITERAnyone else hear about that publicity stuntal-Qaeda pulled recently? Everyone who isanyone had the chance to submit their very ownpersonal question to one of the top dogs himself,Mr. al-Zawahiri. Mr. Number-Two will get backto everyone with answers in what we suspect willbe their next video. I only wonder if they willcreate their own YouTube account for their littleO & A " they would at least be more interestingthan the porn flood that has taken over the site.Got to hand it to these guys, they know how |to reach their base. Bandwagoning on the successof the CNN YouTube political debates, individu-als were to submit concise, focused questions thatwould not be altered. Questions were to remainas they were submitted, whether friendly or hos-tile,? so said As-Sahab, the media outlet helpingto organize the event. I have my fingers crossedthat Anderson Cooper will be moderating.But really, what is al-Qaeda trying to accom-plish? Earn cool points with the teens these days?If that were the case, just team up with Microsoftand release a new hit videogame. I know binLaden has the money to produce it.Are they trying to reach out to their sup-porters and sympathizers? Did they run out ofideas? Are their writers guilds on strike too? |am pretty sure that if you worked your way to thetop of an organization like al-Qaeda, you wouldhave at least brought some fresh ideas to thetable. Learn from Bill OReilly; he writes his ownmaterial. If you rely on union laborers to do yourwork for you, be prepared for a lot of negotiationsbefore they head out into the field. It is no wonderyou never get anything done anymore.I did not want to risk repeating othersquestions, as I knew As-Sahab would have theirhands full with banal questions like, Yo, whereyou guys hiding?? or Where Osama at?? Iwent with down-to-Earth questions, like Whydo some many kids like Applejacks if they donttaste like apples?? and How many licks does ittake to get to the center of a Tootsie Roll pop??If al-Zawahiri does not pick this one, the worldmay never know...This writer can be reached atopinion@theeastcarolinian.comI'd ratherread Playboy_ for the articlesLARA OLIVEROPINION WRITERIm reading a magazine. It has a beautifulwoman on the cover, articles on respectfuland modern chivalry, an interview with ahilarious comedienne, and almost all theadvertisements feature women dressed in aclassy-not-trashy way.Guess what? Im reading a mens maga-zine. I know, I know. Mens magazines areall built to objectify women, make men intodrooling idiot masses and just push backfeminism to the 1940s, right? Well, Ive gota question for you: opened up a Cosmopolitan,lately?Cosmopolitan advertises itself as The #1Womens Magazine? and Ive seen enough ofthem poking out of binders, framed in bath- -rooms at house parties and strewn over coffeetables and tanning salon floors to believe thattheyre right. I see more girls reading Cosmoon a weekly basis than any other magazine incirculation, and that makes me very sad.Ever taken a good look at whats insideCosmo lately? Articles for women hunting?for a man, calling another woman skanky?for having a bad hair day and the most insipidarticles Ive ever read. I dare you to find apiece in Cosmo that isnt about fashion, sex, orover-the-top danger stories about how YOUwill be raped TOMMOROW if you don'tprepare yourself because ALL men want toRAPE you. Its enough to make any womanwho considers herself a feminist want to gag.Is this how women see themselves? Is thishow women want to see themselves?I guess it is, because about five yearsback there was a great little womens maga-zine called Jane. Jane stressed putting yourpersonal health above how you look, beingpolitically engaged and making the most ofyour life at all times. Guess what happened?It sold horribly. Horribly, that is, until threeyears ago when it changed format and becamea Cosmopolitan clone. Business has improvedever since, and its now one of those popularimpulse-buy magazines we see at the check-out. |So, mens magazines stress how intelli-gent and awesome women are while womensmagazines stress how important sex and eyeshadow are. You tell me which one is hurtingfeminism.This writer can be reached atopinion@theeastcarolinian.com{ Let the Good ~Times Roll! \~THURSDAY JANUARY 24, 2008PAGE A5RANT OF THE DAYWhy is the plural form of goose is geese, butthe plural form of moose is not meese?This sito, entitled Bectuse You Said It Wouldnt Take ore is a silver Poclatinprint shot with 35 mm black and white negative film in Wilmington, NC.EAS photo: was taken to make a statement about time and waiting,? saidphotographer, Lizz Wells, oa Editor for The East Carolinian.We welcome student, staff, and faculty photos for publication. Please email themin .tif format to opinion@theeastcarolinian and include ~This is Worth 1.000 Wordsin the subject line, along with a brief description of the medium and subject. Wereserve the ae not to print inappropriate images.od Be nen sa od ~ sie; Ee Bae eves Semen. 5 ae4 Rexccntinay; ee seSe ae =a: gf Re RORThe East Carolinian does not endorse statements made in Pirate Rants. Questionsregarding Rants can be directed to J.D. Lewis, Opinion Page Editor, at opinion@theeastcarolinian.com. Log onto theeastcarolinian.com to submit a Rant of your own.Dear Idiot, Why would you writeabout the Linksys wireless? Howabout you pay for my Internet from~now on?Read the syllabus! The answers tothe stupid questions you ask arethere! Stop wasting my time withyour ignorance and illiteracy!He may not have had to influenceanybody per se, but his status wasinfluence enough. We all know whatgoes on around here.| had an amazing break ... only tocome back to the same bull. | cantwait to leave again.Drunk driving is definitely NOTcool. | dont know why you'd jokeabout it. Your dumb self swerving* .to miss your air freshener couldveput you head-on with another car,killing people. The sad thing is YOUare probably the one that wouldsurvive.You buy me food, give me moneyand then complain about beingbroke. You're stupid to not realize| take full advantage of your lack ofbrain cells. .My girlfriend is bossy ... but | loveher.Nexttime you're in the Rawl computerlab, make sure you turn down yourloud rap music because you weredisturbing everyone around you.| wanted you so badly, and now that| am single you don't want me.| love Cookout in Raleigh, so | wassuper excited when | saw one wascoming to Greenville, but what |would like to know is who decidedto put it on the opposite side of townfrom ECU??? That was stupid!!!Cookout is great for drunks, andthats too far to go!It irks me every time | go to yourpage to see that she is ranked higheron your Top Friends than | am.| just want to add my two cents to thewoman whose roommate is gay andannoyingly loud with her girlfriend:What dorm are you in? What'syour room number? Whats yourroommate's sleeping schedule?My roommate gives me horribleanxiety. | cringe and look out thewindow every time | hear a car driveby thinking it is her. Is that bad?Dont get mad at me for eatingtwo slices of your leftover pizzawhen you drank all of my wine onmore than one occasion. Thanks,roomie.At first | thought | was a slut, butnow | realize that Im just thinkinglike a guy.Why i is the plural form of goose isgeese, but the plural form of moose~ is not meese?~ If global warming is such a problem,why is it still so cold?| can write a more eloquent andmildly offensive Pirate Rant thananyone on this campus.The financial aid office is where timeand patience go to die.| feel weird when | go withoutwearing a bra.| love tranquilizers!Sometimes when your boyfriendcalls at 4 a.m., you just shouldn'tpick up the phone. Others are tryingto sleep.So far | have had all of my PirateRants published in TEC. | feelaccomplished.You can close your eyes to the' things you dont want to see, but youcan never close your heart to thethings you dont want to feel. Rightnow | wish | could.Fear knocked on the door. Faithanswered it. There was nobody there.Thats what she said.How come the only TV that everseems to have sound in Mendenhallis the one showing BET? | hate rap!While you were having your loud |conversation right next to me inWright Plaza, | farted. Take that,personal space intruders.Women have very inconsistentstandards, and yet they expect usto live up to all of them.Ive listed 101 reasons why you.are the perfect one for me ... andhave not found one reason whyyou are not.Hey now, how is it my fault that youcaught me cheating on you? Youwere not supposed to be back fora good 30 minutes. By that time |would have been done!Why is it always the smallest guysdowntown that try to start fights? |know life must suck since you areshort, but getting your butt kickedwould make it suck worse!Boycott Student Health Services!!!They'll check your pulse and tell youthat you have a malignant tumor, andif you have appendicitis, they thinkyou're pregnant.Why do all the freshman girls looklike Barbie?| am SICK of your stupid cat. Itjust ripped a hole in my brand newshirt! | |No, its not weird to save PirateRants! | cut them out and keep themin a plastic cup on my desk!Where do you buy your Flintstonesvitamins??? | LOVE those things!| think smoking is unattractive, andyet | find you attractive.Thank God | have found a newroommate. Im so sick of having theair conditioning on high during thewinter, listening to rap music thatmakes the dishes rattle, and hearingthe ticking noise of their phone whenthey text at 4 in the morning.To the girl or boy wondering whereall the lesbians on campus are, letme introduce you to some of myfriends.It's so sad that you couldn't wait untilthe end of class to chew tobacco.Thanks for being a SouthernGentleman? and passing your spitbottle right in front of my face. Havefun when you have half a face in10 years.Sticks and stones maybreak my bonessaid with a smile, the com-But words may neverhurt me?MARGOT ROGERSONOPINION WRITERDuring a recent LPGA golftelecast from Hawaii, analystKelly Tilghman made a com-ment heard around the world.The commentator was sub-sequently suspended for twoweeks after her racist commentregarding Tiger Woods.So what happened? Tul-ghman and her co-host, NickFaldo, were discussing Tigersdominance in the area of profes-sional golf. They discussed how_ any newcomers might be ableto challenge that. dominance.Faldo said that they would haveto gang up on Woods, while ~ceTilghmans comment was,lynch him in a back alley.?Although meant as a joke andmentators words are nothingless than offensive and grosslyinappropriate.In punishment for her com-ment, Kelly Tilghman was sus-pended for two weeks, althoughat the outset it seemed as if theGolf Channel was not going toreprimand their lead anchor.Lets refer back to April2007, and Don Imuss con-troversial comments aboutthe Rutgers basketball team.He later said that his words,although poorly executed, wereonly meant as a joke. In theend CBS Radio fired Imus aecancelled his show.Why shouldn't a iebaetbe fired as well? Her slip of thetongue was equally as conten-tious. Are more people willingto forgive a woman? Or is itbecause of her numerous apolo-gies and public forgivenessby Tiger Woods agent? Imusapologized as well and was for-given by the Rutgers team. Hestill lost his job, however.With competition for mediapositions at an all-time high,does the country have to settlefor commentators that cannotrestrain their speech to thepolitically correct?I understand that theycannot all be perfect all of thetime. Some nonsensical com-mentators make the best ones(e.g., John Madden), but com-ments of such a severe natureas this cannot go unpunishedor with just a slap on the wrist.' What does that say to futuremedia correspondents? You canbe allowed to say whatever youwant as long as you are sorryand the recipient of the com-ment is a good enough sport to |forgive you? I hope not.This writer can be reached atopinion@theeastcarolinian.com~The craze aboutNew Year's§ Resolutions_ What can you do to keep thatresolution going?LISA ENSMINGEROPINION WRITERIts that time of year again when you noticethe gym is a little more packed than usual, andthe salads are flying off the dining hall shelves.People are making more trips to the library, andthe new you? is in the works. What could thispossibly be? Its time for those ever-so-famousNew Years resolutions we set at the beginningof each year.But how long will we continue with thisbuzz? Not too long for the majority of us. Manyhave the best intentions of losing ten pounds byspring break (for that killer bathing suit bod, ofcourse), or of really motivating themselves to goto the gym five times a week ... but this slowly but_ surely weakens as the year progresses.So, why do these good intentions of ours fadeso quickly? Lets be real; it is the month of Janu-ary. Its bitter cold outside, and we dont oftenhave the most beautiful weather either (should Imention dreadful rain instead of pretty snow?).Therefore, lack of motivation is quite common,and staying in our cozy room or apartmentsounds a lot better. Its just too much effort tosimply change into fitness clothes and travel tothe gym when we are nice and warm inside.Many of us often set unrealistic goals forourselves or expect to achieve our goal in a shortperiod of time. Some examples include quittingsmoking, losing 20 pounds, saving money, or evenstudying during the time of a rerun episode ofGreys Anatomy? (thanks to the writers strike,the winter is even longer now!). ;January 1° has come to symbolize starting afresh and exciting year and setting our personalgoals. Goals such as losing 20 pounds or savingmoney obviously take more than one day, but thatdate may imply that it needs to be done then and_now! We often give up and slowly acquire our oldhabits in a matter of weeks due to frustration andlack of progress.How can we keep our intentions going formore than a week? You simply need motivationfrom others and yourself to accomplish yourindividual goals for the year. It is important tohave outside sources, as well as yourself, pushingyou each and every day to really achieve whatyou want.Writing your goals down and involving afriend in your goals would be a very helpful tactic,because then it is surrounding you at all times.Dont forget to reward yourself at the end of the |_ week with something pleasurable or relaxing; itwill inspire you to keep on moving.So, this year make a difference and keep yourNew Years resolution. You will be pleasantlysurprised with your outcome, and maybe start anew habit for yourself every year!Sources for this article includeThis writer can be contacted atopinion@theeastcarolinian.comSarah CampbellEditor in ChiefKimberly Bellamy " J.D. LewisNews Editor Opinion EditorRonnie Woodward Jared JacksonSports Editor Asst. Sports EditorArianne SwanekHead Copy EditorElise PhillipsFeatures EditorLizz WellsPhoto EditorRobyn McLawhornAsst.Photo EditorMatthew ParkerMultimedia Web EditorStephanie Smith ,Production ManagerNewsroom 252.328.9238Fax 252.328.9143Advertising " 252.328.9245Serving ECU since 1925, the East Carolinian prints9,000 copies every Tuesday and Thursday during theregular academic year and 5,000 on Wednesdaysduring the summer. Our View? is the opinion ofthe editorial board and is written by editorial boardmembers. The East Carolinian welcomes letters to theeditor which are limited to 250 words (which may beedited for decency or brevity). We reserve the right toedit or reject letters and all letters must be signed andInclude a telephone number. Letters may be sent viae-mail to editor @theeastcarolinian.com or to the EastCarolinian, SelfHelp Building, Greenville, N.C. 27858-4353. 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