A lot of college students today feel like whatthey are getting in the classroom is totally unrelatedto what is happening. For example, weTre studyingancient Greek history while the Vietnam war israging. 3 3Capp: I wonder. That was the theory of a mannamed Henry Ford, who you recall said, oHistory isbunk.? TTve the greatest respect for the model T,FordTs old car. I prefer another view of history my-self. I think that people are precisely the same frommillenium to millenium.ITve just been reading a book by Noel Cramer ona civilization, called the Sumerians, which precededeveryone. We didnTt even know it existed. And thisenormous civilization did exist. We just dug it upabout fifty years ago... . There was a tablet re-counting the history of a student, why he might havebeen a student here. He was interested in what stu-dents always are interested in"cutting classes, dames,and fast chariots.Now, he could have checked in here and not beennoticeably different from any other student. So, that,~ history is not so much the history of events, but thehistory of people. People being themselves. And Ithink its very useful to study history. All history isrelevant to whatTs happening.Do you think the government, the people who runthings, learn anything from history?Capp: Do I think so? They have improved. I do.I really do. WeTve got an enormous amount of roomfor further improvement. But I do think so. At thispoint you may not, but out of the whole I do thinktheyTve improved. I think the way the governmentruns things is unforgivable . .. But theyTre wayahead of the way they used to be. They used to beunbearable.Let me interject here. I always feel a little em-barrassed about criticizing government. Because gov-ernment is me and its all of you and its everybodyelse and weTre apt to treat government or abusegovernment as though it were somebody else. It isnTt.Its the common will of the people, and if its stupidyou must consider its source.What do you think about hippies? 3Capp: Oh, I try not to. Its a movement that reallyhas quite vanished, I think. Its lost all its excitement.Its another arm of the Moffia, I think. Certainly, the_ Moffia is the greatest dope peddling organization inthe world. There was one market they couldnTt crack.And that was the high school kid and college studentmarket. And they created hippies to crack that marketfor narcotics. But they donTt need the hippies any-more because kids are selling dope to each other now.So, if it comes as a surprise to you that I think theMoffia is running the whole hippie movement, re-member how surprised everyone else was when itwas revealed the CIA was running all these othergroups of starry-eyed young people.I sort of get the idea that you donTt really likerebels that much.Capp: I do indeed . . . . I like rebels who havesomething to offer to take the place of what they areso eager to destroy. I donTt want anyone to cart myautomobile off to a junkyard unless he can replaceit with a better one.What do you usually say to the idealist who ismore concerned with changing the environment heTsliving In...Capp: Which idealist am I talking to?What do you say to me? I could really care thatsay tomorrow ITm going to have a nice home and anice car and a very comfortable position. ITm dissatis-fied with some of the things that are happening now.ITm dissatisfied with the fact that I can walk acrosscampus and feel like thereTs a total void there"thatnothing is happening.Capp: Nothing is happening where?Say, on campus. Its like sometimes ITm walkingaround in a void and nobody seems to care that noth-ing is happening. Nobody seems to care that pro-fessors ....Capp: How can you tell that they donTt seem tocare? They seem gay? Carefree?They just donTt even seem to be aware. There areso many little subtle things.Capp: I promise you that if I walked across yourcampus and I gathered ten people, all walking alone,each one of them would tell me the other nine donTtseem to be giving a good damn about whatTs happen-ing. Only I am aware. And, you know, they would allbe right.No, I do think that this feeling of lonely splendoryou have is shared by everyone you scorn.It is a pretty hung-up feeling sometimes.Capp: Certainly, and donTt forget that the one youare looking at with such pity and contempt has thatfeeling about you.Do you think your comic strips have any influenceon a national policy level?Capp: Why, certainly, they do. They tax hundredsof thousands of dollars away from me every year"if that hasnTt effected the national policy ITd like toknow what ITm working for.That wasnTt exactly what I had in mind.Capp: Yes. I think that ITm read terribly enoughin Washington so that..... they open it and say,~J wonder what that bastard is saying today.T12In the interview in the December, 1965 PLAYBOYyou described LTil Abner and the rest of the people as~ignorant.T And, that this is what makes them socharming. Why do you think Americans follow soclosely the activities of Dogpatch?Capp: I think one reason is that no matter howstupid anybody has been all day, he can open thepaper, look at LTil Abner and feel superior to them.TheyTve been even more stupid.Who is your favorite character in LTil Abner?Capp: Oh, it changes from time to time. I thinkover the years the character that I feel warmestabout is one that really doesnTt exist, and thatTs Gen-eral Jubilation T. Cornpone. I just love him. I justlove everything he stands for .... and ITm glad toknow heTs now president of France.My favorite Character has always hae MamieYokum. SheTs always been so true.Capp: Well, thatTs right. She combines all the bestqualities of Doris Day and Benito Mussolini.What about this crises weTre in right now withthe U. S. S. Pueblo?Capp: I donTt know what one does. I donTt know.You know weTre in the position of a six foot threeguy being ripped in the ankles by a little puppy. Nowwith one kick he could kill the puppy. But a guy whois that big doesnTt kick a puppy. But can a puppy bitethe ankle of a guy that big? YouTre damn right hecan. Now that is the perplexing problem we are nowin.Help Stamp outQuicksand !It seems to me like weTre so powerful and so bigand so involved all over the world that every little guythat comes along has got to pick a fight with the bigguy. .Capp: ThatTs true. ThereTs very little point inbeing the strongest nation in the world if on campusesand in lecture halls and in respected editorial offices,there are a whole bunch of muckheads who regardstrength as something shameful, power as somethingwe donTt deserve, physical well-being as something we- shouldnTt have earned. And, insist that we remain asimpotent as our tiniest tormentors.What is your idea of why we went to Russia toask their help?Capp: I think the Pueblo case may have beensuch a clear case of piracy that we felt that wecould even ask the Russians to judge it and come.out ahead. That they couldnTt possibly make anyjudgment against us.naiveté. Any bunch that will get up in the U. N. anddenounce the Israelites for having terrorized and in-vaded the Arab nations, can do anything.What do you think of the federal minimum guar-anteed: annual income of $3,000 which is being pro-posed?Capp: I hope it goes through, then nobody willhave to work. Now, where this income will comefrom is the next detail to figure out. But, I think thatany non-productive, non-willing American deserves tolive as well as any American who has some dignityand is useful. And on that platform Bobby Kennedy |will run for President.I donTt think that just because you wonTt workand you insist on having children, . that youmust be denied all the luxuries of life. Certainly not.The unnecessary and burdensome should be givenvastly better treatment than they are, by the way.In New York, you know, theyTve now discoveredsomething about the welfare law. And that is anywelfare recipient who storms in the welfare office"and, by the way, any welfare recipient who can walkto a welfare office should get the hell off welfare andget to work, because there are plenty of jobs"anywelfare recipient who comes to the welfare office andsays he has lost his welfare check, or that it has beenstolen from him, is not asked any further questions.HeTs given ~another check. Now, thatTs true. And thelosses of welfare checks have been astronomical. Nowif any guy works for a living and loses his checkcan you imagine him coming to his employer and say-ing give me another weekTs pay, I lost that one. He,as a useful citizen, doesnTt have that right at all.But if youTre useless, and fruitful, you have unlimitedchecks and unlimited rights. Anybody who isnTt apauper today is missing the only road to solvency.Who do you think the Republicans will run forPresident?Capp: I thought they were going to run Reagan,but he lost a lot of support by his clumsy handling ofthat homosexual thing in California"They can loseagain, with dignity, with Nixon. They may well winwith Rockefeller. I donTt know ... I really donTtthink so. I think for all this mess weTre in and for allthe criticism of Lyndon Johnson, when the chips aredown he knows what the job is and heTs a tough man.I think it showed a great |It seems the U. S. is losing so much prestige.Capp: Oh, nuts to prestige. I tell you that havinglived abroad, traveled all over the world, I donTt give ,a damn what other countries think about us. I reallydonTt. It doesnTt mean anything. Let sci worryabout what we think of them.Did you see the Republican State of the oDis-union? Message on television?Capp: State of the oDisunion?? That sounds like "Everett Dirksen humor. It isnTt funny but its boring.They had to give the Republicans equal time ontelevision, because Johnson had the State of theUnion message on television. So, the Republicans de-cided to do a state of the odisunion? message. Ofcourse, they had all kinds of solutions. They justdidnTt tell you about them.Capp: Well I think weTre going through a classiccampaign. You know, whatever the party in is doingis dead wrong.Do you think Governor Wallace will run forPresident?Capp: Oh, I donTt think there is any way he canbe stopped. Certainly, Lyndon Johnson wonTt try tostop him. I shouldnTt be surprised if the CIA isfinancing his campaign as the best way to beat the "Republicans.What is your opinion of Wallace?Capp: He speaks for about a third of America.I have the greatest respect for Wallace as a regionalvoice. And in his region"and, by the way, in Cali-fornia too and other places"but, in his area his isthe voice of honesty and truth. It may not be thehonesty and truth and the will of the rest of thecountry. I donTt think it is. He speaks for his peopleand he speaks with guts and very effectively. You cannot dismiss George Wallace as something out of acomic strip. George Wallace is a twentieth centuryman, and heTs speaking twentieth century language ,and he has twentieth century ideas.People made fun of his wife being governor...Capp: You know, the people who made the mostfun of her unfitness to be governor are those whoapplauded the appointment of a guy who had nevertried a law case in his life as Attorney General ofthe United States. 7Are you really the irritable person that you sayyou try to be?Capp: No, I feel that ITm very genial and kindand tolerant, except for stupidity. ,In the end of the Playboy interview, the inter-viewer asked your formula for a happy life. You saida certain degree of irritability mixed with honesty ...Capp: Yes, yes, itTs the same. I think that itTs thesame formula for a happy life"the meter of Paul. only, on the other hand, Paul isnTt In my class,in my chronological class.Is that to say that youTre happy?Capp: Yes, I think that part of being happy is toblow off when you want to. Let yourself blow off whenyou feel like it, when youTre rich enough. :Or poor enough?Capp: ThatTs right. People who have nothing tolose, then you can say anything you choose to say.Or if youTre rich enough, so that you couldnTt give adamn. So it doesnTt matter what you do to your careerby speaking the truth. Then you can afford to. ItTsthe guy on the way up or down who has to shut up.Or the politician?Capp: HeTs on his way down. HeTs a man who canfind nothing useful to do.Why do we like potiticians so much?Capp: Oh, I donTt think we do. I think we loathethem. I think any kid who says opop, when I grow "up, I want to run for public office,T would break hisparentTs heart. If he said, oMama, when I grow up,I want to stick up banks or go into the white slaveryDUSIMCBE.. 225 Ac I think his folks might feel he hada future or at least would have some respect. Politicsjust seems to be... although lately I must say thatwe're getting the gentleman politician, the dilitantepolitician. A man who doesnTt have to steal becausehis father has done all his stealing for him. And heis above corruption. And enters politics as a kind ofamusing public service. And I think that from thesemen we get our very best public servants. Because- thereTs nothing you can corrupt them with"you canTtcorrupt them with money, at any rate. Power, how-ever, is something that gets some compromise.United We Stand -Devided We FallMAIDENFORM