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MAIHIJOHAD T2A3 3HT<lb/>
Volume 79 Number 136<lb/>
THE CLEARLY LABELED APRIL FOOL'S EDITION<lb/>
THURSDAY<lb/>
April 1, 2004<lb/>
Mirra to release debut album on campus<lb/>
BMX star crosses<lb/>
over to hip-hop<lb/>
AMANDA HUGINKISS<lb/>
TOTAL PROCRASTINATOR<lb/>
Greenville resident and BMX<lb/>
Freestyle champion Dave Mirra<lb/>
announced in a press conference<lb/>
yesterday that he would be giving<lb/>
up his extreme sports career for a<lb/>
career in hip-hop music.<lb/>
For the past six months,<lb/>
Mirra has been writing and<lb/>
recording songs for his debut<lb/>
album Don't Hate the I'laya, lust<lb/>
Hate the Extreme Game. Mirra<lb/>
plans to distribute copies at<lb/>
2 p.m. today in the Wright Place.<lb/>
"You know, I always wanted to<lb/>
get in touch with the true homey<lb/>
inside me said Mirra.<lb/>
"What better way than hip-<lb/>
hop?"<lb/>
Mirra began getting in touch<lb/>
with his hip-hop side about a<lb/>
year ago when he met local resi-<lb/>
dent and national rap star Petey<lb/>
Pablo at the Cavern nightclub in<lb/>
downtown Greenville.<lb/>
"At first Petey was hatin' on<lb/>
me 'cause I was getting all the<lb/>
honeys. But then we got to talk-<lb/>
ing and he invited me back to his<lb/>
recording studio. After that, I was<lb/>
hooked Mirra said.<lb/>
That same night, Mirra devel-<lb/>
oped the inspiration for what<lb/>
MIRRA<lb/>
would become his first single,<lb/>
"I'm Ballin' at the Edge of Tomor-<lb/>
row a track which uses a sample<lb/>
from the theme song of "Saved by<lb/>
the Bell: The College Years<lb/>
"I woke up the next morn-<lb/>
ing on Petey's couch and on<lb/>
the TV came this song. It was<lb/>
like a message from above  I<lb/>
knew it would be my first hit<lb/>
Mirra said.<lb/>
Other tracks on the album<lb/>
include "I Got (X) Game "G-<lb/>
Vegas Lovin' " and "Xxxtreme<lb/>
Boys a track which features<lb/>
a chorus sung by Tony Hawk,<lb/>
another up-and-coming X-<lb/>
gamer turned recording artist.<lb/>
Mirra will be signing auto-<lb/>
graphs and giving away copies of<lb/>
his new CD from 2 p.m. - 5 p.m.<lb/>
W h i le t hose copies haven't been<lb/>
given out yet, an advance copy<lb/>
of the album was sent to campus<lb/>
radio station WZMB earlier this<lb/>
week for radio play.<lb/>
"That album is total crap<lb/>
said Ben Dover, WZMB disc<lb/>
jockey.<lb/>
"1 wouldn't touch it even<lb/>
if I was a fat kid and it was the last<lb/>
donut on earth<lb/>
As for Mirra, he hopes his<lb/>
album will touch as many lis-<lb/>
teners as possible.<lb/>
"If I can make just one<lb/>
kid realize his dreams of<lb/>
owning nice cars and pimp-<lb/>
ing ho's, then my life's work is<lb/>
complete<lb/>
This writer can be contacted at<lb/>
?@theeas tcarolinian. com.<lb/>
f) Track Listing<lb/>
1. Dope Intro<lb/>
2. "I'm Ballin' At the Edge ot<lb/>
Tomorrow"<lb/>
3. "I Got M Game"<lb/>
4. "G-Vegas Lovin"<lb/>
5. Playaz Interlude<lb/>
6. "Xxxtreme Boys" featuring<lb/>
Tony Hawk<lb/>
7. "My Honey's Got Crabs"<lb/>
8. "Pimp Dem Ho's"<lb/>
9. "Keep Ya Eyez on da Halfplpe"<lb/>
10. I'm Not Your Baby's Daddy"<lb/>
Vacant administrative positions filled Conference USA lOSeS<lb/>
two additional teams<lb/>
NCA&amp;Toneof<lb/>
several considered<lb/>
for expansion<lb/>
Conference-USA, which has<lb/>
been hit hard with the defec-<lb/>
tions of eight teams including<lb/>
M a r -<lb/>
quette, De<lb/>
Paul, Lou-<lb/>
isville,<lb/>
South<lb/>
Florida,<lb/>
and Cin-<lb/>
cinnati to<lb/>
the Big East, Charlotte and St.<lb/>
Louis to the Atlantic Ten as well<lb/>
as Texas Christian to the Moun-<lb/>
tain West, has been informed<lb/>
by representatives from Mem-<lb/>
phis and Houston that the two<lb/>
colleges will join the Big 12 in<lb/>
the"2TJ05-06 season.<lb/>
Officials from Tulane<lb/>
dropped another bombshell<lb/>
announcing a plan to end its<lb/>
athletic program in order to<lb/>
apply money used to support<lb/>
the athletic program to the<lb/>
more profitable arts and crafts<lb/>
department.<lb/>
The Big 12, which was<lb/>
known as the Big 8 until it<lb/>
invited Texas, Texas A&amp;M,<lb/>
Baylor and Texas Tech, has<lb/>
decided to bump its member-<lb/>
ship up to 14 teams in an effort<lb/>
to remain the biggest confer-<lb/>
ence in the country. There are<lb/>
no current plans to change the<lb/>
name to reflect the additional<lb/>
teams.<lb/>
"The Big Ten has 11 teams<lb/>
and yet has kept its traditional<lb/>
name said Bill Hartley, Big<lb/>
12 associate vice president of<lb/>
expansion issues.<lb/>
"1 see no reason to change<lb/>
the name of the conference at<lb/>
all<lb/>
The new super conference<lb/>
will feature two seven-team<lb/>
divisions as well as continue<lb/>
to devastate floundering C-<lb/>
USA. Rumors indicate that C-<lb/>
USA will continue to expand.<lb/>
Possible new members include<lb/>
NC A&amp;T, UC Santa Barbara, and<lb/>
- just for good measure - Cen-<lb/>
tral Arkansas.<lb/>
"These institutions follow<lb/>
in our academic and athletic<lb/>
missions as a conference. We<lb/>
hope to form a longstanding<lb/>
and prosperous relationship<lb/>
with each new member as we<lb/>
continue to mark the future of<lb/>
this conference said C-USA<lb/>
director of propaganda, Wil-<lb/>
liam Hitchcock.<lb/>
There are persistent, yet<lb/>
unsubstantiated, rumors that<lb/>
UAB may be invited to the<lb/>
WAC, but so far all involved<lb/>
deny the story.<lb/>
The new teams have not<lb/>
been officially invited. Before<lb/>
a new school can be invited to<lb/>
the conference, official campus<lb/>
visits must take place involving<lb/>
members of the two current C-<lb/>
USA members, UAB and ECU.<lb/>
GLOVER<lb/>
Ballard holds essay<lb/>
contest to fill top<lb/>
administrative spots<lb/>
HARRY PITZ<lb/>
CHIEF ARM FUNK<lb/>
In Steve Ballard's first act<lb/>
as chancellor, four candidates<lb/>
were selected to fill some of the<lb/>
vacant ad m i n istrat ive positions<lb/>
at ECU yesterday.<lb/>
"I wanted my first decision<lb/>
as chancellor to really make an<lb/>
impact on the university said<lb/>
Ballard.<lb/>
Brittany Glover, a seventh<lb/>
grader at CM. Eppes Middle<lb/>
School, was selected and will<lb/>
succeed Nick Floyd, the interim<lb/>
director of athletics, when she<lb/>
takes over the athletics director<lb/>
position next week.<lb/>
"Brittany's essay really<lb/>
stood out in my mind said<lb/>
Ballard.<lb/>
"Her analysis of the top<lb/>
10 reasons she loves shop-<lb/>
ping really convinced me that<lb/>
she was the proper choice for<lb/>
athletics director<lb/>
Brittany will take over her<lb/>
position after 3 p.m. when she<lb/>
gets out of class at CM. Eppes.<lb/>
"I will have to learn how to<lb/>
balance my duties as athletics<lb/>
director while I finish school<lb/>
said Glover.<lb/>
"Hopefully this will be as<lb/>
much fun as shopping<lb/>
The same day Glover was<lb/>
selected, Ballard chose Peter<lb/>
Bacanovic, Martha Stewart's<lb/>
former financial adviser, as<lb/>
ECU'S new executive vice<lb/>
chancellor of administration<lb/>
and finance.<lb/>
Bacanovic will replace<lb/>
Richard Brown after he retires,<lb/>
again. Bacanovic is well-<lb/>
versed in trading and financial<lb/>
growth.<lb/>
"We hope that Bacanovic<lb/>
will use his extensive financial<lb/>
expertise to benefit the univer-<lb/>
sity said Ballard.<lb/>
"He can wheel and deal with<lb/>
the best of them, but he is espe-<lb/>
cially good at keeping clients<lb/>
informed<lb/>
Linner Griffin, Ph.D<lb/>
interim director for the School<lb/>
of Communication, will also<lb/>
leave her post and go back to<lb/>
the School of Social Work when<lb/>
Jayson Blair, former reporter for<lb/>
The New York Times turned nov-<lb/>
elist, takes over as director of the<lb/>
school in May.<lb/>
After working for The New<lb/>
York Times for nearly four years,<lb/>
Blair became widely known as a<lb/>
reporter in 2003 for his coverage<lb/>
of the war in Iraq.<lb/>
"I can't wait to take over<lb/>
the School of Communication,<lb/>
it will be great to have no one to<lb/>
answer to said Blair.<lb/>
"I think the students in<lb/>
the communication program<lb/>
BACANOVIC<lb/>
are sure to grow as journalists<lb/>
once they're exposed to my<lb/>
techniques<lb/>
Ballard said his most dif-<lb/>
ficult choice was who to select<lb/>
for provost.<lb/>
"I debated for two whole<lb/>
days Ballard said.<lb/>
"But I decided to choose<lb/>
Donald Trump as provost,<lb/>
because he has an authoritar-<lb/>
ian quality that I really feel will<lb/>
help him win over faculty and<lb/>
students<lb/>
Frump will replace former<lb/>
Provost William Swart, who was<lb/>
reassigned to a faculty position<lb/>
in September 2003.<lb/>
"I am ready to turn over a<lb/>
new leaf said Trump.<lb/>
"There has been a lot of<lb/>
controversy over my firing prac-<lb/>
tices. Steve has set me up with a<lb/>
counselor to assist me with per-<lb/>
sonnel issues so I can do my job<lb/>
to the best of my ability<lb/>
Glover, Bacanovic, Blair<lb/>
and Frump were selected out of<lb/>
more than 500 essays submitted<lb/>
to Ballard last week.<lb/>
"I think that my new<lb/>
staff is top-notch Ballard<lb/>
said.<lb/>
"Each of these individu-<lb/>
als is very knowledgeable of<lb/>
their crafts. We are sure to con-<lb/>
tinue to make history together<lb/>
at ECU<lb/>
This writer can be contacted at<lb/>
?&amp;theeastcarrolinian.com.<lb/>
Sandra Bullock considering<lb/>
returning to ECU for degree<lb/>
Says academics more important<lb/>
than acting and Hollywood<lb/>
ASHY LARRY<lb/>
MOISTURE CHALLENGED<lb/>
With only a few credits to go toward her<lb/>
bachelor's degree in drama, Sandra Bullock is<lb/>
considering returning to ECU to finish what<lb/>
she started.<lb/>
Bullock came to ECU from Arling-<lb/>
ton, Va. and was just a few classes shy of<lb/>
completing her degree when she left for New<lb/>
York.<lb/>
Bullock said her reasons for coming to the<lb/>
university were on a whim.<lb/>
The daughter of a German opera singer and<lb/>
a voice from Alabama, Bullock never regretted<lb/>
choosing ECU over a performing arts school<lb/>
since a traditional college experience - football<lb/>
games, fraternity parties and the like- was what<lb/>
she was after.<lb/>
"It all happened in about a week Bullock<lb/>
said.<lb/>
"My friend had an application<lb/>
After hearing that the NBC sitcom Working<lb/>
Girl was looking for a new leading lady, Bull-<lb/>
ock decided to give it a shot. Her best-known<lb/>
credits include The Net (1995) and A Time to Kill<lb/>
(1996).<lb/>
"I may be heading back to North Carolina<lb/>
said Bullock in an exclusive phone interview.<lb/>
"Acting has certainly made me financially<lb/>
secure, but I am beginning to get fed up with<lb/>
Hollywood and all it's st. 1 feel incomplete<lb/>
knowing I didn't finish school -especially with<lb/>
only a few classes left<lb/>
Bullock, who is known for her abnormal<lb/>
normalcy, admits to having uncontrollable<lb/>
urges to eat junk food and has a special craving<lb/>
for Parker's Barbeque.<lb/>
Bullock isn't sure when she would be return-<lb/>
Sandra Bullock is considering returning to<lb/>
ECU to complete her undergraduate degree.<lb/>
ing to college but has made it clear that if she<lb/>
does return to school, it will be ECU.<lb/>
She wouldn't be the only non-traditional<lb/>
student at ECU at the age of 39, but certainly<lb/>
one of the most famous.<lb/>
, ECU has had a few celebrities who attended or<lb/>
graduated that went on to be great successes.<lb/>
Vince McMahon, the World Wrestling<lb/>
Entertainment mogul, graduated in 1968, and<lb/>
New Orleans Saints' player Jeff Blake graduated<lb/>
in 1994.<lb/>
This writer can be contacted<lb/>
at ?@theeastcarolinian.com.<lb/>
Candy Awareness<lb/>
throughout April<lb/>
It takes 5,687 licks to get to the Tootsic Roll center of a Tootsic<lb/>
7� Eating Pop Rocks while drinking Mountain Dew can decrease the size of your penis by three inches.<lb/>
Frying pigs<lb/>
High of -460<lb/>
READING<lb/>
Visit www.flieeastrarollnl3n.com to<lb/>
learn how an apple a day wli take up<lb/>
to live years off your He.<lb/>
chapter;<lb/>
In an ettort to court the minority v�b,<lb/>
President Bush will make a guest<lb/>
appearance on BETs 106 and Park.<lb/>
eatures chapter 3<lb/>
ECU officiate have decided that Instead<lb/>
ot the trarJtkmal go-kart Great Race,<lb/>
competitors w use rttng lawn mowers.<lb/>
chapter 4<lb/>
dung rfclove otlhe gamaferrel Owens<lb/>
has decided he doesrft care where he<lb/>
plays or how much money he makes.<lb/>
Officials are asking sMdents to<lb/>
wfce at Met seats befcre sttaQ<lb/>
rjntHnBeesrjedalycaulousot<lb/>
Me&amp;lnlteSrJrraiBuidrQ<lb/>
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