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            <mods:title>Fountainhead, April 1, 1976</mods:title></mods:titleInfo>
          <mods:abstract>East Carolina's student-run campus newspaper was first published in 1923 as the East Carolina Teachers College News (1923-1925). It has been re-named as The Teco Echo (1925, 1926-1952), East Carolinian (1952-1969), Fountainhead (1969-1979), and The East Carolinian (1969, 1979-present). It includes local, state, national, and international stories with a focus on campus events.</mods:abstract>
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          <dc:title>Fountainhead, April 1, 1976</dc:title>
          <dc:description>East Carolina's student-run campus newspaper was first published in 1923 as the East Carolina Teachers College News (1923-1925). It has been re-named as The Teco Echo (1925, 1926-1952), East Carolinian (1952-1969), Fountainhead (1969-1979), and The East Carolinian (1969, 1979-present). It includes local, state, national, and international stories with a focus on campus events.</dc:description>
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EAST CAROLINA UNIVERSITY<lb />
GREENVILLE, NORTH CAROLINA<lb />
LAMPOON<lb />
Fountainblah<lb />
Serving it up to the ECU group for quite awhile<lb />
VOL. 51, NO. 47<lb />
1 APRIL 1976<lb />
Everthing in this issue is a lie and<lb />
you should not believe a word of it - if<lb />
you don't want to!<lb />
mmm<lb />
m<lb />
mm<lb />
mmm<lb />
mm m i ik<lb />
N. C. voters say 'yes'<lb />
to Lee 0. Jenkins<lb />
N.C. is in good hands now that I'm in<lb />
charge according to newly elected Gov.<lb />
tee 0. Jenkins at the recent swearing in<lb />
ceremonies in Raleigh.<lb />
Jenkins won a landslide victory when<lb />
all the remaining candidates dropped out<lb />
of the race from lack of interest. Jenkins'<lb />
closest opponent, Vino Delopisio,<lb />
withdrew from the ballot when it was<lb />
learned his family deli business was in<lb />
trouble .<lb />
"My best short order cook quit and<lb />
left us in a tight spot said Delopisio. "I<lb />
had to set priorities. The deli meant<lb />
more than running for governor.<lb />
Jenkins new plan for improving N.C.<lb />
was announced at his inauguration.<lb />
'The first thing I'll do as governor will<lb />
be to bring my Greenville associates from<lb />
ECU to the state capital to help run the<lb />
state said Jenkins.<lb />
These capable people helped me run<lb />
ECU and will be of great assistance to<lb />
me at the state level<lb />
FOUNTAINBLAH has learned that<lb />
ECU Director of Security will become the<lb />
new State Attorney. Joe Balder, presently<lb />
the ECU Security Director, said his new<lb />
position will afford him the opportunity<lb />
to get people he could not touch as head<lb />
of the campus police.<lb />
According to sources in the police<lb />
department the list of people Balder<lb />
wants to get include: Sam Ervin (Richard<lb />
Nixon was Balder's boyhood idol);<lb />
Greenville Police Chief E. G. Gunnem<lb />
(Gunnem was too soft with the<lb />
student Halloween rioters- none were<lb />
shot): and FOUNTAINBLAH Editor Mike<lb />
Taylor (Taylor is the prime suspect in a<lb />
severe outbreak of ulcers among his staff<lb />
members).<lb />
Jenkins believes he can best serve<lb />
N.C by threatening to run for President<lb />
every time his programs don't pass the<lb />
legislature.<lb />
"Do you think that the people of N.C.<lb />
want someone like myself representing<lb />
the state at the national level, well, you<lb />
bet your ass they don't said Jenkins.<lb />
"This way I'm assured success here in<lb />
N.C<lb />
"This state is in sad enough shape<lb />
and I can't do any more harm said<lb />
Jenkins. "My first plan as governor will<lb />
be to make sure that every high school<lb />
has a Med School.<lb />
"This will insure N.C. will not be<lb />
asspiiing politico must<lb />
shining sleek cheeks of Ms constituents. When it comes to winning votes at rallies,<lb />
Lee O. Jenkins has ail his supporter, athletic and otherwise, getting the governors<lb />
brown-nosed- attention.<lb />
short of doctors and will also give every Jenkins, reflecting on his new<lb />
local paper throughout the state some important role, said that he owes it all to<lb />
issue to beat into the ground his "good looks and grasp of the issues<lb />
Chiseler, Dorkton indicted for hanky panky<lb />
Larry Chiseler, Student Government<lb />
Association treasurer, and Dr. Jack<lb />
Dorkton, SGA financial advisor, were<lb />
indicted last Friday morning on charges<lb />
of attempting to defraud the SGA of<lb />
more than $100,000.<lb />
A Grand Jury consisting of eight<lb />
black women and a Jew handed down the<lb />
indictment in Federal District Court in<lb />
New Bern. A dead-or-alive warrant was<lb />
immediately issued for the couple, last<lb />
seen entering the local office of the<lb />
Eastern Gay Alliance.<lb />
SGA President Jimmy Hunneycatt<lb />
expressed shock upon hearing of the<lb />
allegations.<lb />
"I never ever doubted that Larry was<lb />
an honest boy Honeycatt cried, "but I<lb />
always wondered why he and Dorkton<lb />
Fountainblah eye sore of the week<lb />
EYE SORE OF THE WEFK-RonaW Rag-on, national leader of<lb />
The Kennel Enemas TKE, is shown congratulating the elite<lb />
"500" club. This club is composed of TKE members who true<lb />
to TKE by-laws, saved 500 canines from severe abdominal gi s<lb />
by administering them err mas Members of the "500 club<lb />
were each presented wifh the coveted "Golden Bag Some of<lb />
the breeds saved by the TKPs this year in the Greenville area<lb />
from that deadly disaster - gas - were the Chi Omaggots and<lb />
the Trl Pigs.<lb />
mmm<lb />
� inpim- mi i m<lb />
mmnmm<lb />
were always complimenting each others<lb />
figures<lb />
Greenville Police Chief Glen Gunnem<lb />
said he had 200 riot equipped National<lb />
Guardsmen and local peace officers on<lb />
the lookout for the duo at Happy Hour<lb />
last Friday.<lb />
"We were unable to smoke out the<lb />
suspects that afternoon, but I assure you<lb />
we'll stick to our guns in this search<lb />
Gunnem barfed.<lb />
The indictment charges the two with<lb />
conspiracy to defraud the SGA treasury<lb />
of more than 75 per cent of their<lb />
available funds last December. Sources<lb />
within the investigation believe that<lb />
because Chiseler got cold feet in late<lb />
December the couple's plan to abscond<lb />
to Costa Rica with the stolen funds was<lb />
called off.<lb />
Chiseler's budget report to the<lb />
Legislature in January accounted for the<lb />
missing $100,000. His offical excuse to<lb />
the legislators for losing the money was<lb />
"total incompetence on my part "<lb />
"I might be dumb for making tne<lb />
error, but FOUNTAINBLAH is a complete<lb />
ass for thinking I'm an idiot Chiseler<lb />
squealed to Speaker Atany Price shortly<lb />
before the January session.<lb />
Price, during that session,repeatedly<lb />
ruled "out of order" a bill sponsored by<lb />
Mag Wheels, chairman of the Appropria-<lb />
tions Committee, that called for a Math<lb />
Lab Tutor to teach Chiseler how to count<lb />
to ten<lb />
After that stormy January session,<lb />
Wheels confessed to FOUNTAINBLAH<lb />
that he has not pressed the issue<lb />
because Chiseler was threatening to<lb />
pledge Sigma Nu Fraternity.<lb />
Newly elected btiA Kresiuem mil<lb />
Sullivan, who was finally found sucking<lb />
on a chocolate filled donut in Krispy<lb />
Kreme at 3:00 a.m. Tuesday, nad only<lb />
one comment on the indictment: "Larry<lb />
and Jack are okay fellows. just wish<lb />
that they would take crime (and each<lb />
other) more seriously<lb />
mmmmmmmmmmmmwmmmm<lb /><pb facs="00040034_tn_0002" /><lb />
I<lb />
2<lb />
F0UNTAIN8LAHV0L. 51, NO. 471 APRIL 1976<lb />
iiw m ii i mo<lb />
�w�n�i<lb />
�<lb />
EditortalsCommenlary<lb />
MM<lb />
�MMMNMMMI<lb />
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3<lb />
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KUNTAINBLAHVOL. 51, NO. 471 APRIL 1976<lb />
mmmm<lb />
m<lb />
mm<lb />
orum<lb />
Jenkins<lb />
endorsed<lb />
Dear Editor:<lb />
I would like to endorse the nicest,<lb />
greatest, best guy I know fon governor.<lb />
No, not smiling Jimmy Hunt-none other<lb />
than our own Leo Jenkins.<lb />
I can say without bias or any other<lb />
consideration beyond my love of<lb />
government that this man will truly do<lb />
the best for our state. I mean, it would<lb />
be the first time that the state would<lb />
have a governor with a genuine Jersey<lb />
accent, which would definitely be an<lb />
improvement over the past governors<lb />
who could do the "Shake and Bake"<lb />
commercials on TV.<lb />
Sincerely,<lb />
Mrs. Leo Jenkins<lb />
Basketball note<lb />
Dear Editor:<lb />
Sorry to read about the demise of the<lb />
ECU basketball team this past year Just<lb />
when things were going so great then all<lb />
of a sudden things are not going so<lb />
great<lb />
Tom Quinn<lb />
UNC drops ECU<lb />
Dear Editor:<lb />
Please tell Leo for me that we are<lb />
dropping your "team" from our schedule<lb />
for the next 50 years. Nothing personal<lb />
now, just the fact that we want to<lb />
upgrade our schedule some and don't<lb />
think we can do it with teams like yours.<lb />
I mean, a team that loses to<lb />
Appalachian has no business on our<lb />
schedule.<lb />
Thanks,<lb />
Bill Dooley<lb />
Election<lb />
comment<lb />
Dear Editor:<lb />
l nave only one comment on the<lb />
recent elections  OH FART.<lb />
Brandon Tise<lb />
�ea&amp;sJ<lb />
EQUAL TIME: After making fun of a lot of other people<lb />
around campus, it is only fair that the paper take at least one<lb />
shot at itself. So, the above cartoon is printed in the name of<lb />
fair play, and little else. The cartoon was discovered slipped<lb />
under the Fountainhead office door early in the �chool year. A<lb />
fingerprint examination revealed that the cartoon came from<lb />
Mendenhall. second We But, the exact author is unknown<lb />
although the paper has several good guesses who might have<lb />
penned such a total unlikeness of the paper's revered editor.<lb />
So much for fair play.<lb />
Chancellor has comments for president<lb />
Dear Editor:<lb />
Concerning the election of one Tim<lb />
Sullivan, I would like to make a few<lb />
comments.<lb />
I read with interest Mr. Sullivan's<lb />
campaign material and to be honest it<lb />
scared the hell out of me. I mean, who<lb />
does this student think he is, the rebirth<lb />
of George Wallace. I could not believe all<lb />
those promises -stuff like cutting student<lb />
salaries, sounds like what Wallace was<lb />
saying. And then this thing about putting<lb />
students first. Let me tell you, I am all<lb />
for that, as long as there is nothing else<lb />
important to put first like state<lb />
government, local government, the<lb />
interest of the big businessmen, my own<lb />
political ambitions. I mean Tim, we have<lb />
to keep things in their proper<lb />
perspective.<lb />
You can't change everything. I have<lb />
already done it. I hope you will drop by<lb />
whim 1 mtmmmmmmmm mm<lb />
my office so we can get a few things<lb />
straight<lb />
To begin with, I don't want you<lb />
making any waves this year. I mean it is<lb />
an election year and some people around<lb />
here have aspiration for higher office.<lb />
Not me mind you, but some do<lb />
And listen, we don't want to make<lb />
waves cause it will get us bad PR. and,<lb />
that is all those people in Charlotte want,<lb />
sometning to hold against us. The first<lb />
riot we have on campus they will try and<lb />
take my med school back And, rest<lb />
assured Tim, I will let nothing stand in<lb />
the way of my med school, nothing, not<lb />
even a pay raise for state teachers<lb />
Like I said, please come by to see<lb />
Tie. I have an offer you can't refuse, like<lb />
maybe a special parking place of your<lb />
own. and an office and everything.<lb />
Please don't think this is a bribe Let's<lb />
just call it a friendly gesture among<lb />
friends, or something like that<lb />
Looking forward to our first<lb />
confrontation. I mean meeting<lb />
Sincerely,<lb />
Leo J.<lb />
Primary results shock NC Governor<lb />
Dear Editor:<lb />
I would like to take this opportunity<lb />
to express my great shame of the GOP<lb />
voters in this state. I mean, what the hell<lb />
are you people trying to do, ruin my<lb />
chances of a big win in Washington as<lb />
one of those pointy-headed bureaucrats<lb />
George Wallace is always talking about.<lb />
� imiiiMinjumnj ,� i n � in i<lb />
That is just what you did last week<lb />
when you gave Ronnie Reagan more<lb />
votes than Jerry Ford. I simply can't<lb />
believe that my own state stabbed me in<lb />
the employment back. Just when Jerry<lb />
says I might be VP, or even a high<lb />
official in his next kingdom, then you<lb />
people turn around and don't even give<lb />
old Jerry more votes than Ronnie.<lb />
�jiuiiii 1 iniiuium "n�piieiim<lb />
Well, I hope you people are satisfied<lb />
I might as well go back to Boone and<lb />
start my law practice up again. I had<lb />
counted on DC. in the Springtime, now I<lb />
have to settle for Boone in the winter<lb />
which is cold as you know what<lb />
Sincerely,<lb />
Jinmy Holshouser<lb />
1<lb /><lb /><pb facs="00040034_tn_0004" /><lb />
EJpjgjgj<lb />
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4<lb />
FOUNTAINBLAHVOL. 51, NO. 471 APRIL 1976<lb />
w0mm0m<lb />
mmtm<lb />
Famed shrink says death stunts growth<lb />
By ANNABEL LEE PUTZY<lb />
Staff Concubine<lb />
In keeping with the national mood of<lb />
patriotism, true blue EZU's yahxi<lb />
chancellor, Leo O. Jenkins has<lb />
announced bicentennial resolutions for<lb />
the "Great School of the East<lb />
1. Each morning, at 7:76, there will be<lb />
mandatory nail meeting in all dorms.<lb />
During these hall meetings, the Pledge of<lb />
Allegiance will be recited, a recording of<lb />
Kate Smith's rendition of "God Bless<lb />
America" will be played full-blast, and<lb />
each student will be required, in turn, to<lb />
deliver a 500-word essay, "What Pinetops<lb />
Means to Me (Jenkins said anyone<lb />
failing to participate will become part of<lb />
?Hp weekly camDus bonfire rally.)<lb />
2. All students will be encouraged to<lb />
bring back to life those tnings that maae<lb />
America What it is today. (Examples: go<lb />
on Welfare, not, commit high treason,<lb />
break into the Pitt County International<lb />
Democratic Headquarters, or move to<lb />
Canada.)<lb />
3. In a sentimental look at EZU's<lb />
illustrious past, there will be a week<lb />
celebrated when the campus will be as it<lb />
was 50 years ago. The UNC Board of<lb />
Governors is presently accepting bids for<lb />
the job of demolishing Brewster,<lb />
Speight, Minges, all the women's dorms,<lb />
and so forth and so on. Students are<lb />
packing up in preparation for their trip<lb />
home, while muttering "Does this mean I<lb />
can get out of my dorm contract?"<lb />
4. Preceding "campus week "Joisey<lb />
week" will be celebrated. At that time, all<lb />
students from New Jersey will be given<lb />
tenure as professors in the department of<lb />
their choice. Preparations for this event<lb />
have been delegated by Jenkins to his<lb />
college roommate, Giovanni "Bugsy"<lb />
Ravioli, a "business executive from<lb />
Passaic, New Jersey.<lb />
5. While reenactments of the Battle of<lb />
Bunker Hill and the Boston Tea Party<lb />
take place in New England, EZU's most<lb />
famous revolution will also be given an<lb />
instant replay. The reenactments of the<lb />
first and second annual Halloween riots<lb />
have gained such notoriety that ABC has<lb />
purchased exclusive television rights, and<lb />
Howard Cosell has volunteered to play<lb />
both a policeman and 500 students.<lb />
6. The drama department has hired Neil<lb />
Simon, William Wyler, and a newcomer<lb />
named Bill Shakespeare to collaborate<lb />
with students on a Bicentennial pageant<lb />
entitled "Red, White, and Blue OR:<lb />
Communists, Bigots, and Dead Babies.<lb />
7. SGA President, Tim Sullivan will<lb />
deliver a speech on the mall, entitled, "I<lb />
Love the Fountainhead, and all that it<lb />
stands for"<lb />
rs<lb />
ducjifcy strikes<lb />
-Traiternisj intellect<lb />
ARE YOU A TURTLE?<lb />
By ERNEST HEMINGWAY<lb />
Creature Writer<lb />
Margaret, a registered nurse at<lb />
General County Hosptial, has been<lb />
married to Tom for over twenty years,<lb />
and they have a daughter, Sandy, who is<lb />
a sophomore at General County<lb />
University.<lb />
Margaret, who has begun to find a<lb />
young surgeon on the staff attractive, is<lb />
unaware that her husband, who is a<lb />
lawyer, is having an affair with his<lb />
secretary, Jennifer, who is married to a<lb />
policeman.<lb />
Sandy (the daughter) is engaged to<lb />
Bob, a veterinian, who is dating the<lb />
sister of the doctor whom Sandy's mother<lb />
finds attractive. However, Sandy has met<lb />
Brad, a guy at college who is really not a<lb />
student; he is a secret agent from U.S.<lb />
Government Official (?) Chow and Dope<lb />
Administration, and finds herself falling<lb />
in love with him. Confused, she begins<lb />
taking tranquilizers to help calm her<lb />
nerves.<lb />
Meanwhile, Jennifer (the secretary)<lb />
discovers that she is pregnant. Since her<lb />
husband, Steve, is sterile, she knows<lb />
that the father of her baby is Tom. BUT,<lb />
unknown to her, Tom has had a<lb />
vasectomy. (Well, miracles do happen)<lb />
So, when she tells Tom, he wants her to<lb />
have an abortion, and, being a good<lb />
lawyer (which does come in handy, by<lb />
the way) wins the argument and arranges<lb />
the abortion.<lb />
In the meantime, Sandy has advanced<lb />
into dope and is arrested by Brad for<lb />
possession of marijuana. Margaret, her<lb />
mother, almost collapses. Although Tom<lb />
is concerned, he is more concerned with<lb />
more important things (arranging the<lb />
abortion at the hospital so his wife won't<lb />
find out). Margaret, getting no emotional<lb />
support from her husband, turns to Carl,<lb />
the doctor.<lb />
When Jennifer goes for the abortion,<lb />
Tom goes with her. The surgeon is Carl,<lb />
and the surgical nurse is a girl named<lb />
Cathy. However, at the last minute,<lb />
nthy becomes sick and Margaret is<lb />
assiqned to take her place.<lb />
After the abortion is over, which left<lb />
Jennifer very weak, Margaret sees Tom<lb />
leaning over her stretcher, screams, and<lb />
has a nervous breakdown. Tom has a<lb />
heart attack, and Jennifer continues to<lb />
become weaker.<lb />
Sandy, who escaped from jail, was<lb />
run over by a car, and was rushed to the<lb />
hospital.<lb />
In the midst of all the confusion,<lb />
Steve walks in and (continued on page<lb />
13).<lb />
Shirley Temple<lb />
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HEAD'S PHARMACY<lb />
For all your drug neods<lb />
� OUR PRESCRIPTIONS<lb />
ARE SO POWERFUL fuU<lb />
HAVE TO RE IN PERFECT<lb />
HEALTH TO TAKE THEM.<lb />
HEALTH TIP OF THE WEEK: "THE BEST<lb />
WIT TO AVOID CATCHING COLDS IS TO STOP<lb />
DRINKING 00T OF DAMP GLASSES .<lb />
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AUNT MARTHA'S<lb />
TRADING POST<lb />
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5x We sell rare antiques<lb />
MMVWMWvWA'<lb />
Located (this week) at Intersection of<lb />
highways 302 &amp; 14 in Bareass, N.C.<lb /><pb facs="00040034_tn_0005" /><lb />
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�3WQHN3ZiaVMHDS SHIHdAS<lb />
Campus cringe s<lb />
as Godzilla bathes<lb />
I judsudissj pjo-j<lb />
By EMERSON J. FARQUAI<lb />
Staff Mongoloid Mole<lb />
CAPRICORN: April will be a very fetal<lb />
month for the dynamic Capricornian, with<lb />
bananas coming through the mail, and a<lb />
500-mile unicycle trip for leisure. Watch<lb />
out for Salvation Army uniforms and<lb />
cenent blocks.<lb />
AQUARIUS: Those born under the water<lb />
sign will spend April in the shower. A<lb />
visit from mother could mean hubcaps<lb />
and fire hydrants. Beware of Polish<lb />
sailors on the 25th, and avoid<lb />
submarines at all times.<lb />
PISCES: Pisceans show their slimy<lb />
nature in April, when a bag of Grade-A<lb />
Cow Manure proves to be of lasting<lb />
impact. Be on the lookout for a letter on<lb />
the third. It will probably be "C "H or<lb />
"P Try not to eat fish stew with<lb />
Shriners.<lb />
ARIES: Love strikes tender Aries in April,<lb />
in the form of a large, but lovable piece<lb />
of granite. Roll with the punches, and<lb />
everything will be orange pekoe by the<lb />
end of the month.<lb />
TAURUS: Zwieback crumbs on your<lb />
Castro Convertible will mean a<lb />
cancellation of your subscription to<lb />
HUMPTY DUMPTY. Avoid midgets who<lb />
sing songs about typewriter ribbons.<lb />
GEMINI: A slow boat to China will be<lb />
your cup of tea as long as you remember<lb />
what your brother-in-law said about Jack<lb />
Nicholson movies. You will form a<lb />
lasting relationship with a neutered<lb />
beagle you meet at a used car lot.<lb />
CANCER: Surfboards are not a good<lb />
place for tender moments, as impetuous<lb />
Cancer finds out on April 32. DO NOT<lb />
buy any Asian ferns from a persistent<lb />
pretzel vender at the Carolina Cowboy<lb />
Saloon.<lb />
LEO: Everything about Leo is styled after<lb />
the king of the jungle, especially his<lb />
breath and bathing habits. April will be a<lb />
superb month for Leo, and the highlight<lb />
will be an all-expense paid visit to March<lb />
13, 1879.<lb />
VIRGO: Is it true what they say about<lb />
vestal Virgo? A 240 lb. gorilla will sit on<lb />
you on the 7th, leaving you with a stiff<lb />
neck and a pug nose, and a gorilla who'll<lb />
follow you anywhere.<lb />
LIBRA: Your lifetime dream of making a<lb />
career playing with your toes will come<lb />
true this month. Opportunity will knock<lb />
in the form of a persimmon franchise.<lb />
SCORPIO: April is a venereal month for<lb />
effervescent Scorpio. You'll be busy as a<lb />
bee once the National Guard gets to<lb />
town, but social Scorpio will entertain<lb />
the troops royally.<lb />
SAGITTARIUS: Life is one big orifice for<lb />
the sprightly Sagittarian, and this is<lb />
especially true in April, when that big<lb />
surprise comes from South of the Border.<lb />
One warning, though. Be prepared for<lb />
eyelashes in your pudding, and toenails<lb />
on your ears.<lb />
mm<lb />
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FOUNTAINBLAHVOL.<lb />
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51, NO. 471 APRIL 1976<lb />
mmmm<lb />
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Infamous flasher caught<lb />
with pants down<lb />
SARGANT SHRIVER, now retired from the quest for the Democratic nomination is<lb />
siown hj his new hobby, tap dancing. Seen with loving supporters in the background<lb />
wife, far right, son, far left, Shriver is seen delivering his oft-quoted speech relating<lb />
detente with "Bojangles" Robinson. One look from Shrivers son on far left tells the<lb />
entire story.<lb />
THE INFAMOUS WAHL-COATES flasher was caught early yesterday morning while<lb />
compromising a willing seven year old girl. Answering a question about how he had<lb />
been able to evade capture for so long, he replied, "I just have one of those faces<lb />
which blends into crowds easily<lb />
THE NEW MANAGER of Elbo Room was<lb />
new manager said he thought he would<lb />
"new look" projected for the dub.<lb />
saying, "I like young girls<lb />
named last week. L. Biff Najursky, the<lb />
get along well with his staff and the<lb />
"Besides Najursky was quoted as<lb />
CAMPUS<lb />
CARSALES<lb />
WOULDYOU<lb />
BUYA<lb />
USED CAR<lb />
FROM<lb />
THIS MAIM?<lb />
WELL, DROP ON BY ANYWAY!<lb />
'IF IT CAN BE TOWED,<lb />
WE'LL SELL IT<lb />
Bi<lb />
Tr<lb />
towir<lb />
Wedr<lb />
ass i si<lb />
"I<lb />
Wedn<lb />
tow<lb />
Stude<lb />
Leo's<lb />
"I<lb />
Push<lb />
the ht<lb />
"Pi<lb />
pound<lb />
told rr<lb />
Spring<lb />
havinj<lb />
impou<lb />
It v<lb />
that Be<lb />
T<lb />
The<lb />
interse<lb />
ECU st<lb />
SGA ra<lb />
one EC<lb />
the yea<lb />
Acc<lb />
ECU m<lb />
direct<lb />
student:<lb />
obvious<lb />
pedestri<lb />
racing f<lb />
trailers<lb />
SG<lb />
wmmm<lb />
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The S<lb />
Saturday<lb />
Scott Dor<lb />
be no cla<lb />
"There<lb />
Mondays<lb />
stated an<lb />
remain an<lb />
students <lb />
classes or<lb />
recuperate<lb />
The S(<lb />
for the bi<lb />
opposition<lb />
was finall<lb />
force to<lb />
Jenkins,<lb />
colleagues<lb />
have been<lb />
and Greenv<lb />
to prevent i<lb />
Before<lb />
was used<lb />
passed, Jer<lb />
need to hav<lb />
workday is<lb />
be added<lb />
there will bi<lb />
With pov<lb />
Legislature,<lb />
students sc<lb />
"Halloween<lb />
raids with<lb />
Campus Pol<lb />
mmmmm<lb /><pb facs="00040034_tn_0007" /><lb />
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FOUNTAINBLAHVOL. 51, NO. 471 APRIL 1978<lb />
i�mimn<lb />
7<lb />
Buildings being towed<lb />
'Don 'tpush me' Balder starts towing frenzy<lb />
The ECU Campus Security was caught<lb />
towing some buildings on campus<lb />
Wednesday morning by C.G. Bore,<lb />
assistant to the assistant's assistant.<lb />
"I came to work at around 9 a.m.<lb />
Wednesday and saw ten of tr)e biggest<lb />
tow trucks attached to Mendenhall<lb />
Student Center, Clement Dorm and Uncle<lb />
Leo's small mansion said Bore.<lb />
ul immediately called Joe "You Can't<lb />
Push Me Around" Balder and asked what<lb />
the hell was going on.<lb />
"Push Me" Balder replied with a five<lb />
pound package of parking tickets and<lb />
told me if they weren't paid by the end of<lb />
Spring Quarter then I was in jeopardy of<lb />
having the rest of the campus<lb />
impounded<lb />
It was found through the investigation<lb />
that Balder, Doc, and the rest of the pigs<lb />
at the old laundrymat had felt that the<lb />
three buildings being towed were<lb />
constructed in the wrong places and that<lb />
they should be moved to accommodate<lb />
staff parking facilities.<lb />
"It has been our strict towing policy<lb />
on campus that has kept this place from<lb />
going to those damned students, and<lb />
you better believe that I would rather see<lb />
the pinkos take over instead of those<lb />
students quipped Balder.<lb />
Besides if it wasn't for the towing<lb />
policy I couldn't afford to live in<lb />
Greenville with my slight salary<lb />
Those towing people keep me in<lb />
business with the cutbacks I get from<lb />
them, especially Dung Body Shop, that is<lb />
my favorite one. Mr. Dung is always<lb />
willing to drop his load and come to the<lb />
campus to tow a few cars.<lb />
I don't get much out of the towing<lb />
except a few lost rocks watching a car<lb />
ride off into the sunset behind a tow<lb />
truck, and oh yea, I also get about 10<lb />
bills for my cooperation with the towers<lb />
association<lb />
According to Bore, he decided to let<lb />
the two trucks have the two buildings but<lb />
used his better judgement in stopping<lb />
the towing of Uncle Leo's small mansion.<lb />
"I felt that the university could afford<lb />
to let two little buildings like Mendenhall<lb />
and Clement go. "Hell all Mendenhall<lb />
does is collect student money that is<lb />
spent on students and Clement<lb />
accommodates a few scabies every once<lb />
in a while.<lb />
According to Balder, his towing<lb />
policy keeps the students on their toes<lb />
because they never know what is going<lb />
next. "We believe in fairness here at<lb />
Campus Security and we can't let the<lb />
students think they are safe anywhere<lb />
on campus added Balder.<lb />
Bore was able to save the two<lb />
campus buildings and Uncle Leo had<lb />
called his friend Chief Gunnon to stop<lb />
those rubber ducks from taking his<lb />
house.<lb />
It is rumored that Bore will propose in<lb />
the next Board of Mistrustees meeting<lb />
that student cars be banned on campus,<lb />
and that student fees be increased for<lb />
the construction of a new parking garage<lb />
to be used exclusively by the faculty and<lb />
staff.<lb />
Balder commented on the rumor and<lb />
expressed grave concern over Bore's<lb />
actions. "You still can't push me around,<lb />
I'm a retired marine, but I will be damned<lb />
if I am going to let Bore end student<lb />
parking. Those tow trucks keep me and<lb />
my family in business, plus they were<lb />
able to pay for my $1,000 lawn last year<lb />
without the slightest dent in my checking<lb />
account.<lb />
Tenth St. overpass to reroute traffic over students<lb />
The Tenth Street, College Hill Dr.<lb />
intersection claimed the lives of three<lb />
ECU students, two stray dogs and one<lb />
SGA rat last week in what was termed by<lb />
one ECU official as the student event of<lb />
the year.<lb />
According to Hereicum Stiffsanall,<lb />
ECU mortician, the intersection is the<lb />
direct reason for the loss of these<lb />
students and their rats. "It is very<lb />
obvious how the mishaps occurred, the<lb />
pedestrians simply did not yield to the two<lb />
racing Macks with fullv loaded 45 foot<lb />
trailers.<lb />
SGA<lb />
votes<lb />
against<lb />
classes<lb />
The SGA Legislature passed a bill<lb />
Saturday night at the Sigma Nu Suite in<lb />
Scott Dorm which states that there will<lb />
be no classes held on Mondays.<lb />
"There is no use in having classes on<lb />
Mondays because no one goes to them<lb />
stated an SGA officer who wishes to<lb />
remain anonymous. "After the weekend,<lb />
students were unable to make it to their<lb />
classes on Mondays. They need time to<lb />
recuperate<lb />
The SGA Legislature fought bitterly<lb />
for the bill to be passed. With much<lb />
opposition from university officials, it<lb />
was finally necessary to use physical<lb />
force to have the bill passed. Leo<lb />
Jenkins, Chancellor, several of his<lb />
colleagues and even several legislators<lb />
have been hospitalized. Campus Police<lb />
and Greenville City Police were on hand<lb />
to prevent a riot from breaking out.<lb />
Before the necessary physical force<lb />
was used in order to have the bill<lb />
passed, Jenkins stated, "Students do not<lb />
need to have a prolonged weekend. If one<lb />
workday is taken from the workweek to<lb />
be added to the weekend, eventually<lb />
there will be no workweek<lb />
With power increasing within the SGA<lb />
Legislature, there is a possibility that<lb />
students someday may have an annual<lb />
"Halloween Riot" and possibly panty<lb />
raids with no interference from the<lb />
Campus Police<lb />
m<lb />
"The remains of the students were<lb />
carefully scraped off of the intersection,<lb />
and the two strays were cast into the<lb />
gutter. The SGA rat was left as a<lb />
sacrifice to any turkey vultures that<lb />
happened to wander by said Stiffsanall.<lb />
Stiffsanall feels the only way to stop<lb />
the pedestrian suicide at the intersection<lb />
is to build an overpass for the traffic to<lb />
go over the crossing.<lb />
According to Stiffsanall, this proposal<lb />
would accomplish two goals; the first to<lb />
re-route the traffic, and secondly to get<lb />
more money from the students at ECU.<lb />
The administrative end of ECU was<lb />
rather pleased with the recent accidents<lb />
because they received the full tuition<lb />
from the students and since it is early in<lb />
the quarter they can spend that money<lb />
any way they deem necessary without<lb />
having to provide something for those<lb />
students.<lb />
The deceased students were fined by<lb />
the ECU Traffic Department for failure to<lb />
yield right of way to moving vehicles and<lb />
will not be allowed to graduate until the<lb />
fines are paid.<lb />
The truckers have reportedly filed suit<lb />
in Pitt County District Court for damages<lb />
received during the accident. The two<lb />
truckers are seeking $50,000 a piece for<lb />
the destruction of their wind screens and<lb />
for the removal of flesh from the radiator<lb />
grill.<lb />
The truckers have planned to hold a<lb />
convoy through the ECU campus if the<lb />
courts do not pay off. and will refuse to<lb />
ship beer into the city.<lb />
According to SGA President. Jimmy<lb />
Honeycutt, those truckers sure do have<lb />
us by the testicles, especially all the frat<lb />
rats if they can't get any beer.<lb />
I<lb />
The SGA Condom<lb />
Take it from Hunneycatt,<lb />
It's like being screwed<lb />
by a 1000 legislators.9<lb />
. '���&amp;<lb />
For the man who has BIG political ambitions.<lb />
5fC will stretch further than the SGA budget.<lb />
jfc can take more abuse than an SGA president.<lb />
m<lb />
m<lb /><pb facs="00040034_tn_0008" /><lb />
8<lb />
FOUNTAJNBLAHVOL. 51, NO. 471 APRIL 1976<lb />
MiWi<lb />
�<lb />
mmm<lb />
ENTERTAINMENT<lb />
Interview with Russell Bertrum<lb />
By NORMAN MAILER<lb />
Visiting EZU on April first along with<lb />
a host of other notables, will be world<lb />
famous playboy, alleged philosopher, a<lb />
renowned plagiarist Russel Bertrum.<lb />
Dr. Bertrum claims to have graduated<lb />
from Harvard but swears Harvard is in<lb />
Europe. He did his dissertation on some<lb />
obscure principle of Physics which he<lb />
calls inertia. It was later discovered that<lb />
Issac Newton had done similar work in<lb />
the past, hence Bertrum's reputation for<lb />
plagiarism.<lb />
FOUNTAINBLAH, in an exclusive<lb />
interview with Bertrum became hopeless-<lb />
ly confused. This reporter can do no<lb />
more than leave judgement of the worth<lb />
of ideas Bertrum claims to be his own to<lb />
you, the reader.<lb />
FOUNTAINBLAH Many people do not agree<lb />
with your attitude toward plagiarism. They<lb />
charge you with what they call "serious<lb />
crimes<lb />
Bertrum: That is much ado about<lb />
nothing. It happens every twelfth night. I<lb />
expect charges like that from a hamlet<lb />
the size of Greenville.<lb />
F: Charges like that don't worry you?<lb />
B: What, me worry? You see, in this<lb />
Shell I have no need to cross the Gulf of<lb />
compromise into the Richfield of Mobile,<lb />
American thinking. I am standing<lb />
Humble, my Chevron flashing brightly<lb />
across this sub-Standard University.<lb />
F: I'm sorry, I didn't understand. Did you<lb />
say something about gas stations?<lb />
B: No, we were talking about plagiarism.<lb />
You see, the quality of plagiarism is not<lb />
feigned. It falleth like the gentle rain<lb />
fmm heaven, and is easier to research.<lb />
F: Now I am confused.<lb />
B: Weil, that is pretty confusing so far.<lb />
But if you think you are confused now<lb />
you haven't seen nothing yet, and you<lb />
may not, unless you stick around for<lb />
tonight's lecture.<lb />
MISS ANNA PRUDEHOMME WATSON retired Monday from her position as dorm<lb />
administrator which she had held in Cotten Dorm for the past 36 years. Seen in this<lb />
picture taken on her birthday last January, Miss Watson claimed to have dedicated<lb />
her life to helping young coeds and collecting blund objects. The two were not<lb />
related she claimed. Asked about her future plans, she said that she plans to run a<lb />
home for wayward dwarves in Kansas.<lb />
m in � � � m0mm0mmm0m0mmmninmMitm j n m<lb />
F: Anyway, people call you a playboy.<lb />
What are your views on this image?<lb />
B: My view on playboy's? I'm for 'em.<lb />
F: Hah, hah. That is clever.<lb />
B: I'm very sensitive, don't laugh at me.<lb />
F: If you don't want me to laugh, why do<lb />
you tell me these tales?<lb />
B: Ask not for whom I tell tales. I tell for<lb />
thee.<lb />
F: This conversation is going down hill.<lb />
If you want to plagiarise, why not<lb />
plagiarise good ideas instead of these<lb />
mediocre ones I have heard today. Come<lb />
to think of it, all I've really heard are bad<lb />
puns.<lb />
B: I may be punny, but all the puns I<lb />
use, I've stolen. I am a proud plagiarist.<lb />
F: Let's finish this interview with your<lb />
��imiMmMHmiMimiHHIMIIHHMHIIHHHIt<lb />
favorite un-original idea or pun.<lb />
B: Ahh, this doeth pretend deep<lb />
trenchery and muddy secrets to be told.<lb />
F: That's it! What the hell?<lb />
B: Hell? What's the El? They tore it<lb />
down. As a tot they told me not to cross<lb />
the moat. But then the monkey did<lb />
beseach me cast the moat from mine<lb />
own eyes. Thus I crossed my eyes and<lb />
double crossed the monkey into the<lb />
moat! Afraid of hell, you think! Hell, I've<lb />
left my senses many times and dreamed I<lb />
fought great monsters, pink beheamoth,<lb />
rats upon my bed, who cares? If we<lb />
fall can we not rise again to bite another<lb />
apple on yet another Eve? We'll take it<lb />
down. We'll get it standing up, we'll get<lb />
it any we can St. Mickey save me<lb />
�INWHHMIHHIIMNINtlllNIMMIHimi<lb />
LOUIES<lb />
HOCKSHOP<lb />
AND<lb />
LOAN COMPANY<lb />
"Look for the old Dodge<lb />
van and you're at Big Louie's'<lb />
ON SALE THIS WEEK:<lb />
 Marantz 340X reciever - Brand new - ONLY $45.00!<lb />
 3 slightly used teargas canisters - $29.95 each<lb />
 Assorted watches - a real bargain at<lb />
ONLY $189.95 each!<lb />
:<lb />
i<lb />
:<lb />
�<lb />
fc Worried about financing? No need'<lb />
try our Easy Payment Plan -100 down, <lb />
nothing else to pay !<lb />
f If Big Louie doesn 't have it, he can<lb />
I $&amp; order it for you.<lb />
r<lb />
NEED A LOANNO PROBLEM. HAVE TROUBLE PAYING<lb />
BACK LOANS? NO PROBLEM. WE WILL BREAK YtU OF<lb />
THAT NASTY HABIT (arms or legs - your preference)<lb /><lb />
IHHNNHHimiWH<lb />
emi<lb />
TWO YOUTI<lb />
campus sec<lb />
believes thai<lb />
was held fen<lb />
alive.<lb /><pb facs="00040034_tn_0009" /><lb />
FOUNTAINBLAHVOL. 51, NO. 471 APRIL 1976<lb />
alum i m�i�iii iipipiihh i innaw<lb />
9<lb />
AS PART OF Greenville Rehabilitation Week, famous city eunuch of J. Clvde Dueless<lb />
is shown at his job as bartender downtown. Co-workers remarked that he was fitting<lb />
in remarkably well considering that he had nothing to fit in with.<lb />
LOCAL ARTISTE RODOLFO DADA SMITH-WORTHINGTON caught in a restive pose<lb />
after his successful one man art show. He was hung by his gonads from a large oak<lb />
tree while friends threw balloons filled with paint at him and coated his extremities<lb />
with Ragu Spaghetti sauce. Special highlight of the show was the exposition of his<lb />
legendary neon cape which was plugged into a wall socket and when lit up, revealed<lb />
several of his fantasies about insects.<lb />
The masterpiece of bizarre love<lb />
that stunned France<lb />
A portrait of lave and submission<lb />
to disorder the senses.<lb />
SHE BOUGHT HER GOODIES AT<lb />
BUM'S S-MSHOP<lb />
FEATURING THE LATEST IN<lb />
� WHIPS<lb />
� CHAINS<lb />
� HANDCUFFS<lb />
� WETSUITS<lb />
� LEATHER ITEMS<lb />
� ROPES<lb />
� MASKS<lb />
� VARIETY OF CELLOPHANE<lb />
APPAREL<lb />
TWO YOUTHS were discovered Irving In a back room of A.J. Fletcher Building by<lb />
campus security agents last Sunday. Professing to belong to a new religion which<lb />
believes that after death your soul goes to a Lithuanian diner in Chicago, the odd pair<lb />
was held for further questioning after admitting actually to believe Or. Clyde Hiss is<lb />
alive. <lb />
" IF IT HURTS, IT'S AT BURT'S<lb /><lb />
m<lb />
:�- 1SS , .<lb /><pb facs="00040034_tn_0010" /><lb />
viSfMsapiflflac<lb />
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FOUNTAINBLAHVOL. 51, NO. 471 APRIL 1976<lb />
 i Hi<lb />
KLAN MEETING�It was indeed a fine day for a cross burning last weekend at Ficklen<lb />
Stadium and these Klan followers turned out in throngs to support the local<lb />
Greenville chapter-headed up by Greenville's favorite son, Glenn Cannon. According<lb />
to reports, Cannon became annoyed wtth the crowd and helped them to disperse by<lb />
use of tear gas, beer bottles and tomahawks. Cannon noted that he did give the<lb />
crowd a five second warning beforehand, though.<lb />
ECU finally admitted to the ACC<lb />
By JOHN EVANS<lb />
Noise Editor<lb />
CHAPEL HILL, N.CThe FOUNTAIN-<lb />
BLAH learned today from its exclusive<lb />
sources that East Carolina has been<lb />
accepted for membership in the Atlantic<lb />
Coast Conference beginning in 1978.<lb />
According to reports, East Carolina<lb />
and Virginia Tech were accepted by the<lb />
conference's Athletic Directors by a vote<lb />
of 5-2 for admittance to the conference<lb />
beginning in 1978. The two schools<lb />
voting against the ECU inclusion in the<lb />
conference were North Carolina and the<lb />
University of Maryland. Clomson and<lb />
Maryland voted against the inclusion of<lb />
Virginia Tech into the conference.<lb />
Two schools, West Virginia and<lb />
South Carolina, were turned down for<lb />
admittance to the conference, both by<lb />
votes of 4-2 with one abstention.<lb />
According to a spokesman for the<lb />
ACC, the vote to accept ECU as a new<lb />
member came following considerable<lb />
lobbying by ECU Chancellor Dr. Leo<lb />
Jenkins and Senator Robert Morgan, an<lb />
ECU alumnus.<lb />
"East Carolina has many alumni to<lb />
thank for swaying the minds of the<lb />
Athletic Directors the spokesman said.<lb />
"Especially since the majority of Athletic<lb />
Directors were against it (ECU'S<lb />
acceptance) just two months ago.<lb />
"The decision to allow VPI to come<lb />
into the conference was made as a<lb />
concilliatory gesture towards Maryland<lb />
and Virginia, the two schools located<lb />
outside of the Carolinas. It was<lb />
surprising to many that Maryland voted<lb />
against the approval of Tech for<lb />
admittance<lb />
Maryland was the only school that<lb />
voted against all four schools, including<lb />
South Carolina and West Virginia, for<lb />
admittance into the conference.<lb />
FOUNTAINBLAH contacted Mary-<lb />
land's Athletic Director Jim Kehoe for his<lb />
comments on the matter.<lb />
"To me, and this is off the record, the<lb />
conference is playing dominoes with Its<lb />
future said Kehoe. "Of course we aren't<lb />
too crazy about the arrangement of North<lb />
Carolina schools in the conference<lb />
already and adding ECU to the<lb />
conference is totally absurd in my<lb />
estimation. Besides what has ECU ever<lb />
beaten us in?"<lb />
When told by FOUNTAINBLAH that<lb />
mwmmm<lb />
East Carolina had beaten the Marylanders<lb />
in both baseball and swimming this year,<lb />
Kehoe remarked, "Well, that doesn't<lb />
mean a thing to me. After all our<lb />
baseball and swimming teams had an off<lb />
year this year and all our swimmers were<lb />
loaded down with twinkies the day we<lb />
swam ECU. You do remember what<lb />
happened in basketball, don't you?"<lb />
Neither ECU basketball coach Dave<lb />
Patton or Athletic Director Bill Cain<lb />
would comment on ECU'S chances<lb />
against the ACC in basketball. When<lb />
asked to comment, Patton just went pale<lb />
and Cain slammefl his door and went<lb />
back to his game of dominoes.<lb />
According to ECU Chancellor Jenkins,<lb />
the negative vote from Carolina was a<lb />
political move by the anti-ECU faction in<lb />
Chapel Hill.<lb />
"I think this is one of the greatest<lb />
victories that ECU and myself have ever<lb />
earned said Jenkins. "It angers me that<lb />
the people from Chapel Hill continue to<lb />
take the dim views towards our school<lb />
that they do, but after we beat them in<lb />
baseball and football this year I'm not<lb />
surprised to hear it.<lb />
"I'm afraid that I have a lot of political<lb />
enemies in that part of the state and they<lb />
used their gripes towards me to hamper<lb />
any attempts at us getting in the<lb />
conference<lb />
Jenkins announced that he would<lb />
immediately recommend to the Board of<lb />
Trustees that plans be approved to<lb />
enlarge Ficklen Stadium to seat 35,000<lb />
fans and Minges Coliseum to seat 9,000<lb />
fans. The two facilities currently have<lb />
capacities of 20,000 (in Ficklen) and<lb />
6,500 (in Minges).<lb />
Jenkins added that he felt the<lb />
admission of VPI to the conference<lb />
would help bring more balance to the<lb />
conference, and that he envisioned the<lb />
admission of a tenth school.<lb />
"We feel really proud that we have<lb />
been accepted and I personally feel, and<lb />
of course I speak for the university, that<lb />
the move was warranted.<lb />
"I think the conference's move to also<lb />
admit Virginia Tech would show that they<lb />
plan to expand to ten teams in the near<lb />
future, with several teams possibly<lb />
qualifying as the tenth school.<lb />
William Friday, president of the<lb />
consolidated University of North Carolina<lb />
system, said that he was surprised, but<lb />
pleased to learn that East Carolina was<lb />
accepted to the ACC.<lb />
"It was a surprise to me, I admit<lb />
said Friday. "At the same time, though,<lb />
the University (EC) has been making<lb />
great progress in its athletic endeavors<lb />
and perhaps people within the state<lb />
under-estimated exactly how much<lb />
progress the school had been making<lb />
The plan calls for East Carolina and<lb />
Virginia Tech to continue their normal<lb />
schedule in 1976 and 1977 and revert<lb />
completely to full schedules in all sports<lb />
by 1978. Since the schools will officially<lb />
be admitted to the conference in 1978,<lb />
this will give them each a little more than<lb />
two years to establish an athletic<lb />
program in all the conference sanctioned<lb />
sports.<lb />
Athletic Director Cain said that the<lb />
new occurrences would mean a<lb />
reevaluation of the program's goals. Cain<lb />
added that several programs which now<lb />
existed would have to be discontinued or<lb />
cut back in order to establish programs<lb />
in Lacrosse and Fencing. Lacrosse and<lb />
Fencing are both sports sanctioned by the<lb />
ACC towards the Carmichael Cup.<lb />
"It will take a while for myself and my<lb />
coaches to sit down and discuss what<lb />
changes need to be made in the program,<lb />
financially. At the present time, we are<lb />
not fully ready financially to take the<lb />
giant step into the ACC, but it is my<lb />
hope that we will be two years from now,<lb />
when actual competition begins<lb />
When asked what changes might have<lb />
to be made in the program, Cain<lb />
responded: "At the present time I don't<lb />
think it would be wise for me to<lb />
speculate on that. Certainly rifle is not an<lb />
ACC sport since that would probably be<lb />
sacrificed. As it stands now, all the other<lb />
sports would be continued, since they<lb />
are also ACC sponsored sports.<lb />
"Somewhere added Cain, "We will<lb />
have to find the money for a lacrosse<lb />
program. We had one a few years back<lb />
and discontinued it because of lack of<lb />
funds, but we may have to start the<lb />
program up once again or sacrifice that<lb />
sport for better programs in other already<lb />
existing sports<lb />
Cain added that in some sports a<lb />
great deal of change was not needed and<lb />
that increased revenue from conference<lb />
television and gate receipts would<lb />
possibly bring in a lot of the needed<lb />
money.<lb />
"In football, baseball, swimming and<lb />
wrestling we are close to where we need<lb />
to be. Track is another sport where we<lb />
are mighty close. There are several<lb />
places we will need to work on. Among<lb />
these are our soccer, tennis, and<lb />
basketball programs.<lb />
"I do believe, though, that some of<lb />
the money we will need can come from<lb />
the gate receipts with the conference<lb />
schools in basketball and football. Since<lb />
our share of the television contract will<lb />
start next year instead of in 1978, that<lb />
should help, too.<lb />
"We have already started receiving a<lb />
number of larger donations from alumni<lb />
to our athletic fund through the Pirate<lb />
Club. It may be three to five years before<lb />
we are competitive with the conference in<lb />
all sports, but I feel our overall program<lb />
will be able to hold its own right off<lb />
Cain added, "Now that we have been<lb />
given a commitment from the league, the<lb />
wheels can really start rolling. Of course,<lb />
there is a small matter of withdrawing<lb />
from the Southern Conference, but I<lb />
think that can be taken care of<lb />
NEW RECRUIT-East Carolina has recruited<lb />
this all-American punter out of fcyeeore A<lb />
and M. The booter, according to scouts,<lb />
has only one major weakness. If you<lb />
haven't noticed that fact yet, ha has no<lb />
At least he won't have to worrv his<lb />
about making the team.<lb />
m<lb />
m<lb />
mm<lb />
ejejexeflftB<lb />
mm<lb />
mm<lb />
nmm<lb /><pb facs="00040034_tn_0011" /><lb />
4<lb />
I<lb />
m<lb />
urnmm<lb />
m<lb />
FOUNTAINBLAHVOL. 51, NO. 471 APRIL 1976<lb />
� � �mi i wvmmmemmmmm<lb />
ii<lb />
VMfV<lb />
( Carson signs Ryun<lb />
East Carolina track coach Bill Carson<lb />
announced the signing of two of the top<lb />
high school track stars in the nation<lb />
yesterday in an effort to offset the<lb />
Pirates' weaknesses in the pole vault and<lb />
distance events.<lb />
Steve Ryun of Lawrence, Kansas, is<lb />
the brother of legendary Jim Ryun, who<lb />
ruled the middle distance running in the<lb />
United States during the middle and late<lb />
sixties. Brother Steve looks to be a better<lb />
prospect than Jim.<lb />
In 1965, the older Ryun set the high<lb />
school national record in the mile with a<lb />
time of 3:58.5. This was the first time a<lb />
high schooler had ever broken four<lb />
minutes in the mile.<lb />
It was only fitting that brother Steve<lb />
came along to break the mark. Steve ran<lb />
a 3:55.8 time in the first outdoor mile of<lb />
the year this season. Carson sees Ryun<lb />
helping the Pirates program immensely.<lb />
"This is the first bonafide world class<lb />
miler I've ever had. We knew we had a<lb />
chance to get him but we thought it was<lb />
mighty slim. We just showed him the<lb />
kind of program we had and how well he<lb />
would fit in and he picked us over the<lb />
University of Kansas<lb />
The other jewel the Pirates picked up<lb />
was Jimmy Seagren, whose brother was<lb />
once the best pole vaulter in the world.<lb />
Bob Seagren, the former Southern Cal<lb />
star has pole vaulted over 18 feet several<lb />
times and has passed the tradition on to<lb />
brother Jimmy.<lb />
The young Seagren has vaulted 17'8"<lb />
three times and holds the national high<lb />
school record in the event. Carson was<lb />
also very high on Seagren.<lb />
"We've never had anyone here to go<lb />
any higher than 15'6 This is a really big<lb />
boost for our program. The only problem<lb />
with signing a pole vaulter is that we are<lb />
going to have to buy some pole vault<lb />
standards now. We have none<lb />
The two blue-chippers add to the<lb />
strength the Pirates have in the sprints<lb />
and hurdles should give East Carolina<lb />
one of the best track programs in the<lb />
East, maybe in the nation. Carson<lb />
concurs.<lb />
"These two young men should give us<lb />
one of the top track programs around.<lb />
Our sprinters and hurdlers are second to<lb />
none right now and these guys give us<lb />
strength where we were never able to<lb />
score points before<lb />
East Carolina track looks to be taking<lb />
a national picture right now, but should<lb />
be ever better next year with the new<lb />
acquistions.<lb />
southeastern 7<lb />
NOMINATED M<lb />
FOR "�<lb />
LATE SHOW<lb />
Fri. - Sat. ONLY<lb />
11:15 P.M.<lb />
FOUNTAMBUHI<lb />
AWARDS!<lb />
Tim Sullivan<lb />
THE MAN WHO<lb />
WOULD BE KING<lb />
SOON 'Return of Jaws' - starring Ricky Price<lb />
YOU DESERVE A BREAK TODAY-ECU head basketball coach Dave Patton wanders<lb />
over to talk to an official after learning that his team's Hardee's Huskies will not be<lb />
there on time for the team's post-game meal. The ECU player in the background helps<lb />
to express Patton's sentiments by saying he wants his all-meat Huskee or he won't<lb />
play.<lb /><lb />
t<lb />
DOUBLE DUTY�Apparently these two players can not decide who is supposed to<lb />
catch the ball. Actually, they are Beepo and Berpo Flub, the Siamese twins on the<lb />
ECU football team this year. Medical science was made when the two brothers were<lb />
separated when one tried going one way and the other went the other way.<lb />
ii mtm nain m<lb />
mm<lb />
���� i wm<lb />
m<lb />
mmm<lb />
m<lb /><pb facs="00040034_tn_0012" /><lb />
12<lb />
FOUNTAJNBLAHVOL. 51, NO. 471 APRIL 1976<lb />
� r i mm� im i<lb />
mmm<lb />
�m<lb />
HOTFL<lb />
FLAS<lb />
Sppeech lab<lb />
The spp-speech 11-lab will mmm-<lb />
meet nnn-next Mmmm-onday to discuss<lb />
Eaastern North Ccc-carolina spp-peech<lb />
immm-pedimentts. The ttiime of tt-he<lb />
mm-eeting is 7:30 in rr-ooom 206<lb />
Alll-ied Hhealth.<lb />
Rocks off<lb />
The Geology Club will meet this<lb />
Saturday at Dr. O'bonner's favorite<lb />
hideawayto discuss the future possibility<lb />
of the club gettin its rocks off.<lb />
Freeze funds<lb />
Dr. rtans Dimdork will hold a special<lb />
seminar on how to freeze students funds<lb />
without ever telling them about the fund<lb />
freeze. The seminar should be of the<lb />
utmost importance for those in the EZU<lb />
Model UN program. Special guest for the<lb />
seminar will be Larry Chiseler, our<lb />
favorite SGA patsy for Dr. Dimdork.<lb />
Lecture show<lb />
The EZU Political bcience Department<lb />
will hold a special lecture series on<lb />
controlling socialism as applied to the<lb />
First Amendment and Justice Black. Dr.<lb />
Scurious Yarrough will present an in<lb />
depth court opinion, Dr. Dimdork will<lb />
represent the Third Reich, and Dr.<lb />
Deamon will lecture on the "South as a4<lb />
Socialist State<lb />
Non-art show<lb />
There will be a special non-Art Show<lb />
to be held at Dada Smith Worthington's<lb />
groovy pad. The non-Art show will not be<lb />
held so it will add to the uniqueness of<lb />
the event.<lb />
Flamingo fired<lb />
Applications are now being taken for<lb />
FOUNTAINBLAH editorship. Mike Tailor<lb />
fired himself last week and a replacement<lb />
is necessary for the remainder of the<lb />
year.<lb />
Cram course<lb />
The EZU Business Department will<lb />
conduct a special cram course to be<lb />
offered to the professors in the<lb />
economics and accounting departments.<lb />
The cram course will consist of how to<lb />
figure out your accounting tables once<lb />
you have thoroughly confused the<lb />
students and will give the professors a<lb />
chance to brush up on thier respected<lb />
subjects they forgot how to teach 20<lb />
years ago.<lb />
Ha ha ha ha ha ha<lb />
Darrell - it's off. Ha, ha, ha.<lb />
tmnimmmt i n mvm i n u<lb />
Cancelled<lb />
The Major Attractions Committee has<lb />
been cancelled because they lost their<lb />
sound crew in Greenville, South Carolina<lb />
and they refused to sign another<lb />
contract. Bob Sat iva was not available for<lb />
comment because he was out to lunch,<lb />
as he usually is.<lb />
Human body<lb />
The Nursing Department will hold a<lb />
week long seminar on the "Human Body<lb />
and the Best Way to Use it to Your<lb />
Advantage Girls Guest lectures will be<lb />
Xaviera Hollander and Linda Lovelace.<lb />
Speech fund<lb />
A speical speech therapy fund is now<lb />
being taken up for a corrective speech<lb />
course to be offered to Dr. Uguess<lb />
Mulati, EZU Business Department, to<lb />
correct his obvious speech problem.<lb />
Students who have Dr. Mulati this quarter<lb />
are strongly encouraged to give<lb />
donations before it is too late in the<lb />
quarter.<lb />
Fear course<lb />
Dr. Deamon will offer a course next<lb />
spring entitled "You Have only Three<lb />
Things to Fear in Life This class will<lb />
based on the teachings of intellectual<lb />
Gene Talmadge. Black people need not<lb />
apply.<lb />
Fighting BSA<lb />
Dr. Herby Carlson will be offering a<lb />
special training session for Boy Scouts<lb />
this summer. This group will consist of<lb />
fifty elite scouts trained in counter<lb />
insurgency tactics. The "Fighting BSA"<lb />
will be attached to the Defense<lb />
Intelligence Agency and will be used in<lb />
counter acting existing Soviet Browning<lb />
groups trying to convert young people to<lb />
Communism.<lb />
Warsaw ghetto<lb />
There will be a meeting of all the<lb />
survivors of the Warsaw Ghetto next<lb />
Tuesday. Guest lecturer will be the world<lb />
famous Bay Shore Wonder who will<lb />
speak on "Why I Love North Carolina or<lb />
Why My First Bom Will Be Named<lb />
T-Bone<lb />
BSRA<lb />
There will be a meeting of BSRA<lb />
(Bathroom Stall Readers of Aerica).<lb />
That's right, every Tuesday nite, BSRA<lb />
members tour the campus discovering<lb />
the true meaning of the old adage "the<lb />
writing's on the wall<lb />
The club is looking the new members<lb />
and everyone is invited to join. As club<lb />
president George M. Nasal says, "There<lb />
is a seat for you<lb />
Pogue gone<lb />
Russ Pogue, photographer for<lb />
Fountainblah, has been stolen. He was<lb />
last seen standing on his head on the<lb />
Entertainment Desk at i Fountainblah. His<lb />
whereabouts are presently unknown. If<lb />
anyone sees him, please tell him not,<lb />
repeat NOT, to return.<lb />
Applications are now being accepted<lb />
for staff photographer.<lb />
Friends of leather<lb />
There will be a meeting of Friends of<lb />
Leather next Monday at 6 p.m. at the<lb />
home of Tom "Crack the Whip" Tozer.<lb />
Med school trustees<lb />
A meeting of the EZU med school<lb />
Board of Trustees will be held Monday,<lb />
April 5 at Louie's Lounge to discuss<lb />
dispersement of med school funds and<lb />
future meetings at Louie's Lounge. All<lb />
memebrs are urged to attend as drinks<lb />
will be on the UNC school system.<lb />
Shoe collectors<lb />
There will be a meeting of ECU Shoe<lb />
Collecting Society Monday at 8jOO p.m.<lb />
at Saad Shoe Shop. The topic will be<lb />
"Pleasures of the Innersole All<lb />
interested parties welcome.<lb />
ePic'<lb />
of the week<lb />
A study of human nature.<lb />
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