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[PART 1]

Agustin Palacios 0:00
All right, um, I'm Agustin Palacios

Jay Cooper 0:02
Jay Cooper.

Agustin Palacios 0:03
We're interviewing Miss Jan Mills. Think back about your life and life challenges that you or a family member have had to face. Who were the family members and friends who may have helped them navigate the challenge, you know, like family, neighbors, or somebody in their church or healthcare professionals.

Jan Mills 0:23
You know, I'm old enough to have had lots of life challenges. And I think that if you looked at different aspects of your life, if it was, as a child, growing up in a rural community, in attending a small elementary school, I attended the standard elementary school from grades one through eight, there were five teachers and three school buses, and we rode the high school bus from Stanhope to Spring Hope. And it was a challenge for us, then, because we were just as you did, when you came from the schools into a larger school, it was a challenge for us to go to a different school and to meet new people and to walk into an environment that we were not used to. So that was a challenge that we have then. And then as you go from that to that was my high school challenge goes into being a young mother and moving out to Michigan where my husband was in graduate school. And that was quite a challenge. And I had my first child out there and and no family around. And there again, that was a challenge. From that you have, there have been many things that have gone on in my family, and the thing that has kept me focused, and really, is I do have a very strong family. And I'm a very independent woman. And I think that the thing that has helped me to get through most of this has been my faith, because I am a very, I have a lot of faith in the things that will be will be. But I also think that sometimes we create our own challenges. And then we stepped back on that faith to help get us through those challenges. [Loud noise].

Agustin Palacios 2:15
So while you say that faith was a large, like part of your strength, do you think that that same faith has kind of prepared you already for those challenges?

Jan Mills 2:28
Oh, absolutely. I, I grew up attending a small, rural church just down the road at [Inaudible] chapel. And went from that to that, of course, as you grow older, you get into larger denominations, and you are faced with making decisions about your own beliefs. And you have to rely on on that belief to see you through those challenges. And I think that without it, I would not have been able to have done that.

Agustin Palacios 3:01
And what would you say to somebody that would be facing those same challenges today?

Jan Mills 3:09
I think first of all, you got to be true to yourself. And I think that when you are when you understand who you are, and not what someone wants you to be, I used to tell my children growing up, you know, they come home and they'd say, Mom, I want to do this, this, this. Because someone was doing this, this and this. And I would say I'm not their mom. So I can't, I can't determine what they will do. But I want you to always remember who you are. And to always remember your name. And remember that your family is counseling you to do the right thing. And that has, I think helped my children, because I told them I said you get one shot at life. You let somebody else tell you what to do, they get to do yours and theirs. And so that has helped make them very independent also, because they they pretty much have led very independent lives. And I think that that's very important. That's that's where a faith centered. Life comes, you know, you you know, who you are, what you stand for, and you stick to it.

Agustin Palacios 4:28
And what about your children have they kind of

Jan Mills 4:33
they are there, they're very successful they and they're very children, they're coming through and they are being very, very successful. My one of my sons told someone the other day that the other person in his world that he was afraid of was his mom. So I'm not really sure if that's a good thing or a bad thing, but I think that I've had a pretty good influence on those children and they They've always known that where were their mother stood and what her position was, and it doesn't wait.

Agustin Palacios 5:12
In terms of that, you think that faith has to be something integral to people's lives?

Jan Mills 5:20
I think so yes. If they're, if they are to be happy, I think that you can, you can you can be happy in other areas and other degrees. But when, when you when it all comes back down to it? What do you base everything on? I have a, I have a person in my family who said to me one day, I'm not really sure there's a God. And I said, So explain to me the butterfly, explain to me the hummingbird. Explain to me why this person is this way, this person is this way. Where is the air that you breathe? What is everything? Did it just happen? And I said, you need to think about that. And you need to just really, really, when you think about it, pray about it. If you don't think there's a God, then there's not going to commit sort of answering, you're not gonna feel anything. But if there is a God, you'll feel something. And he felt something which made him still not really strong as how we like we have to be, but he still knows. So you know, that's okay. That's okay, you will get there.

Agustin Palacios 6:47
And then for somebody listening, or my classmates and me, what is something that you would tell us to remember for the rest of our life?

Jan Mills 6:59
For the rest of your life? If I had my life to live over, what would I do differently? [Loud noise from recording].I can't think of a lot of things that I would do differently. But I would say to you, the same thing that I said to my children, be true to yourself. Determine early what you stand for. Because if you determine early, what you stand for, then no one's going to knock that block out from under you. This is a small thing. But when I was very young, and before I started dating, I determined that I would never date anyone who drank alcohol. Because I felt that a social drink turns into a larger drink down the road, and an even harder drink, which might lead to drugs. And I said, I'll never I'm not going to date anyone like that. Because I don't want to have to deal with it. In my life, I don't want my children to have to deal with. And so I never did, and I never drank anything. And never never had the have I was presented with the opportunity many times. But you, you stay true to that. And I remember I was out who went out with a guy and he goes in, we look into stories back then. And they go in and they come out with a coke and they were for the girls and they have a beer. He gets in the car. And we're in the backseat and the other car was in the front seat. And I did this quick slide already here. And I said, you can take me home. And he said, what? I just picked you up 30 minutes ago I said so it's a 30 minute date do you take me home? I don't anyone who drinks. And I mean, he was really a popular guy. So you know, word spread very quickly that I was a little bit straight, but that was okay. I didn't bother didn't bother me. When I worked in the General Assembly. We had many, many social parties, many many opportunities because wherever you went, it was alcohol it was served and there was you know, and whenever I would step up to the bars and one would say Jan will have a coke. It was known throughout that I just didn't drink. So I think that if I would say anything to you determine early, what you stand for. And whatever that is, don't let anyone lead your life. You got one shot. You be sure it's real life you lead and the somebody's not getting yours and theirs.

Agustin Palacios 9:48
like that. I think in today's world there's a lot of influence on influences on children while they're growing. And teenagers I have faced a lot of influences from So do you think it is easier or more difficult to stay true to yourself? In today's world,

Jan Mills 10:08
I think it's more difficult to stay true because you'd have, oh my gosh, when I came on, there was no such thing as social media, there was no such thing. And we didn't have the large classes that you were missing. When I went to school, my parents knew if I misbehaved before I got home, you know, that was, I can tell you the name of every kid that I graduated with. And we still were there 50, some of us in the whole class graduated. Because I have the bookkeeping teacher to grade the test. And she'd say, do they need this to graduate? Yes, they do. So she'd give them that, that extra point to graduate. But that was, that was a simple time. And so it is much, much more difficult. And that's why it really becomes very important for you. Because you you're at the point, you know, as we say, they reach you reach an age of accountability, and you know, that you become accountable for your actions. And this is it, you know, right from wrong, you determine. And as you get ready to go to college, you are really going to be here with a lot of things that you can't even imagine, at this point. Be true to yourself, which you can always be true to yourself. Because beyond that, comes employment. What do you do when you go to any job to a potential employer, and he looks back and he says, Did you do this, this, this, and you did this, this this, then you don't get the job that you wanted, and you don't get the what you really wouldn't be entitled to. So never sell yourself short. Never, ever, ever, regardless of what is said on social media, regardless of what anybody else out there says that's, you know, just don't sell yourself short.

Agustin Palacios 12:14
And what advice would you give to somebody who wants to reach that, that, almost like that level of finding themselves, but it's currently struggling and sort of like becoming stagnant in their progress?

Jan Mills 12:34
Sit down and make yourself two lists. A list of things that you're happy with in your life, listed the things that you're really not sure about. See, which outweighs the other. And if the ones that you're not sure about are outweighing the positives, then look at those. And see, okay, let's take, let's just do one, work on that one. I went to see a counselor many, many years ago, because I was just overwhelmed with the things that was going on in my life at the time. And the advice he gave me was take an area, put it in a box, put the box on the shelf, handle it one thing at a time. So if there's one thing in your life or two things that you are really not happy with it, you want to get it over here to the happy side, the pro side, put it in a box and begin to work on it. What is the positive that you can do to make that negative turn into a positive? And that's why you do it. Something that helps me and it's just just me is I'll find a book. That's a fun book. Not one that is that I've got to really get in depth about and just really, really think about it when I'm reading it and not a mystery, but something that is just so light and airy and just fun to read. And then get your mind sort of calmed down a little bit and then you can begin to think about those things.

Agustin Palacios 14:26
And I heard you mentioned a counselor, do you think that the but like therapy and counseling is helpful.

Jan Mills 14:35
Oh, absolutely. I don't understand why anyone who is having an emotional issue. Something that is really much they're struggling with it from a middle aspect. If you had the flu, or you had COVID Or you had a broken arm or a broken leg? What would you do? You go to the doctor, same principle, it's just a different area, you go to someone who is an expert in that area, and you ask for help. They're the only people who get help you, your friends can't just like, they can't give you sex education from your friends, you need to go to someone who's an expert in it, you do not ever know ever now take it from someone who's not a licensed physician who could really talk with you and tell you what you need to know and what you need to do to get it squared away. That's just smart.

Agustin Palacios 15:45
And for people who are in circumstances that don't allow them to be able to go to therapy without being judged, right. More more in case actually, it's like, do you think that the stigma that there is around mental health and going to therapy.

Jan Mills 16:08
There should not be in the stigma, right? Just as I said, it's like physical health, but your mental health has everything to do with your physical health down the road. So you, you, you attack that problem, and if someone wants to stigmatize you for something doing something like that I'm just too independent I would just turn around and say, well, I won't tell you what I would say but it would be not very nice. Then to paddle your own canoe buddy, I'm paddling mine.

Agustin Palacios 16:49
Thank you.

[PART 2]

Agustin Palacios 0:01
Mrs. Mills, Could you tell us about your background and some of the history and some of the stuff you've done in the community?

Jan Mills 0:07
this year, I should be happy to do. I grew up here, as I said earlier, and went to school at Stanhope and then at Spring Hope. We grew up, I grew up on a little small town of farm, just down the road. And it was at that point Highway 95 And then later, they changed it to 97 and moved 95 down on the interstate. And the fun part was it as I was growing up, this is you girls like this. We could I could put I could get all dressed up in the afternoon and sit out on Friday afternoons and all the sailors and marines and everything you were going from base would come by and just blow the horn and blow the horn because there was a little girls and there was a girl sitting out there who would wave at him, you know. But it was it was a lot of it was it was a fun, easy time. I rode my bicycle two miles every other week to catch the bookmobile and we'd fill my basket full of books and bring it home with 14 books. They would last me two weeks. So I could read a book a day, even though we worked in the tobacco fields. Oh dear lord, we worked in the tobacco fields. I chose the one I've done everything except to it. And I refuse to chew it and dip it that was not going to be the thing that I did. You know, I could get out there. I could do the old fashioned looping and the priming and the truck get from the field. And that was when tobacco was really tobacco. And but we we have this school over here. It's falling down now it was StanHope Elementary. And one of the guys called me from Portland, Oregon, about a year or so ago. And he said where is the sign on that school that says when it was built? And I told him I said it's on the left hand side is your if you're facing it as you go in the door, it's on the left hand side there. And he said, I don't think so. I think it sounds it. No, because we used to have our roller skate contest through the hole. You would you would start here and you would go around the flagpole like this. And you go through the hole and you come back out. And that was the way that we had our roller skate contest. And I remembered where that sign was at. And sure enough, I went over there and took a picture of it synergy wasn't really here it is. And so now we're trying to determine how we can get it down without the law enforcement coming to get us so we can salvage it. And I don't know that we can. I've had people call and offer to sneak with me over there. So if you ever hear this miss Mills is been put in jail is because I went to get that sign off the building. I have always when we when my husband and I moved back here. We came back from Michigan State. And it was the end of the Vietnam War. The rap was over the lottery was in place. He had got his master's degree and we were trying to decide what was going to happen now because he was not going to be any money to get a doctorate. He was coming back to get his doctorate at NC State. And when I flew home with our baby, he was three weeks old. He had an opportunity to either go with the OCS which was naval training, which meant envolving in Vietnam. Or he had a job offer in Chicago. And he showed up at the house a week early because he was not was going and Mr. Frese who was the superintendent of Nash county schools at the time, had called him and offered him a position at a new school, Southern Nash. And he came and was the first chemistry physics general about our general science teacher, I think that Southern Nash had, he formed the pep club, he helped them get the bird the Firebird drum. So we had a very deep connection here. Both of us graduated from Spring Hope high school and followed the football team with our our children in tow with their own little little and even when we were didn't have any real connections with the school, but then I ran for the school board in 1982. served for 16 years until my youngest daughter graduated and we I didn't I was not reelected because I really didn't campaign. I just didn't want the guy to get it who was running and didn't have a free shot. But he had worked I didn't I just sort of sat back, but it was I think that I've been involved with the Chamber commerce and just a lot of different things. And I think you have to love your your community that you come from, and feel its roots and know that it is. That's what makes you who you are really sometimes because you are. You're the one thread that runs through that community to, you're going to be that one thread. And you can either you can make that thread or you can break that thread in, and it depends on you. It depends on you how strong you are. And one day you might come back and teach at Southern Nash, who knows, you know, you you might be that lead teacher who comes back here and makes a big difference. And there are people who have gone away and come back and have made a tremendous difference. My daughter teaches at Nashville elementary now, and she is a kindergarten teacher. And I don't know how she survives it sometimes. But she tells me the things that are going on. And I used to sub at a hero. In fact, when she was a baby. Then principal called me one day and said, I was a cone and he says, Can you come sub today? And I said, I don't have a babysitter? And he said, Well, it's for Jim, you can bring the baby. So I brought the baby and I had all the most wonderful babysitters you've ever seen they were just so happy to, to keep robbing and to play with. It was it was quite an experience. But um, but it was you know, he was desperate for a substitute teacher that day. But um, I do I love this community. Back when we were as a scene, we were trying to make the decision as to where we were going to go knowing that Vietnam was there and it was still in me. And I told him as it were, for one thing I'm not going back above the Mason Dixon it snows the first snow came October the sixth and I said What the heck am I now this is terrible. I can't stand this. And I mean, it was snow until May, there was then push this Oh, it was awful. And so we we came back here and but I will tell you something that has stuck in my mind too. When I was at Michigan State I worked in the placement bureau. And at the placement Bureau is where we have the students who are graduating find jobs, wherever it might be, we had corporate in to do interviews coming in interviewing for people who needed jobs. And we had the military. This is in 1968 67, 68. Vietnam War was going strong. I mean, it was what you see now on TV with there is nothing like what we saw back then with the Vietnam War. I mean, it was very, very graphic and, and I lost a lot of friends in Vietnam.

The the thing that you have to do is, as I was gonna say, the thing that I remember most of there was, we had those guys who some of them had served two or three terms or tours of duty in Vietnam. And they we had to hide them in the back of the building. Because Students for a Democratic Society were protesting outside. And we I mean, when they protested back then they I mean, they burned Detroit in 67, you know, but they had we had to hide them, because they were they would have been really mistreated. They were not back there. And they couldn't even go out for lunch. They had to stay on campus in the building with us girls, and eat their lunch. And and they were so they would come they actually can play cards with us. And I remember the last day and I think this is why I became so wanting to be sure that people understood citizenship in this country and what it means and what these people have done. He these were military guys, they most of them were career guys. And they did what the government wanted them to do because that's why they were in the military. Last day, they were there. They were walking this sergeant had come out front and he was standing out front and he was big burly sergeant. And the guys from the student from democratic society, we're out here and one girl came in as If she were going to go up and talk with one of the receptionists about a job and she pulled from underneath her cloak, a bouquet of yellow roses. Back during that time a bouquet of yellow roses stood for cowardice. She walked straight across that lobby, and handed it to that sergeant. And he stood there with tears rolling down his face and said, what am I supposed to do with this? And he turned around and walked away. And that stuck in my mind and made me determined at that point that you this is a wonderful country in which we live, that people are willing to go and do the things they do for us. And we take it so for granted. We just take it for granted. So don't don't ever take and I'm giving you a sermon here on patriotism. But don't ever take citizenship in this country and your freedoms and your opportunity to vote lightly. That is the most important thing that you will do as a citizen of this country, is to exercise that right to vote and vote carefully. Not because someone else thinks somebody is so great or not because that's the way Mom or Dad always voted or not. Because I broke totally from if I took my dad but one time knowing he canceled everybody made that morning, but I took him to vote because it was important for him to go vote. But you know, that's the important thing is exercise that right.

[PART 3]

Speaker 1 0:02
First of all this is this is exactly what I was hoping to cover. I thought we could go through one time, it would kind of help out. I really appreciate you coming out Mrs. Mills.

Jan Mills 0:14
You're very welcome. Alright Jay, are you ready?

Jay Cooper 0:19
Do you think social media is a positive or a negative for our generation growing up and trying to figure themselves out?

Jan Mills 0:26
I think it depends on how your generation uses it. I think if they are constantly, how can you possibly have a life if you're constantly on your phone, or you're looking at social media you can't have? It bothers me to go into family restaurants and to see families sitting there and everybody's on the phone, there's no conversation, there's nothing. There's nothing there that they're doing. And if you're dating and your date is on the phone, and you're looking to date is that that's nothing. I think that you need to as far as information, positive information, good information. I think that's a good thing. But I think that it's, it's probably a give and take, it depends on how you use it, and if you're smart enough to use it. Right. And I think you are, I think that I think everybody would knows the right way to use social media, it's just whether or not they choose to use it that way. And that, you know, it's like, when I used to teach clinics for the Boy Scouts in the community citizenship in the community. And you know, social media has everything to do with politics today. And it goes, it just did blow one thing one way and one thing another way and. And I remember saying to the boys back then and the girls as it, changed that. You know, you have the right to vote, the responsibility, the vote, the duty to vote, the right to vote, because someone died gave you that privilege, because you live in this country. The duty to vote for the very same reason, the responsibility to vote is you look at your candidate you never, you never believe what you see on social media. You never believe that the newspapers, the TV, whatever, you watch their body language in their eyes that will tell you about your candidate more than what comes out of his or her mouth. Because I worked in in politics too long. They're going to say and spin it in the way that they think you want to hear. It's fun. But you watch their language, their body language and their eyes. And you see if they're trustworthy, that will tell you more than anything whether or not they're trustworthy. So that's when you usually use social media that way because you can see them a little bit but but anyway, that's that's my take on social media. I have a we have a standing rule at my house when you come into my house that phone goes in the bucket and the bucket your family anything on that thing is not family. I'm a tough meanie. Okay.