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This publication is the culmination of so much love, hours and hours of hard work and

a collaborative team spirit. | was privileged to work with one of the most hard-working,
insanely creative and continuously supportive team that ITve ever worked with. I consider
myself to be one of the luckiest Aede/ editors of all time to be able to work on the 60"
edition of this award-winning publication. I will always hold a special place in my heart
for the hours I spent, friends made, and amazing artists that ITve had the privilege to
work with over the last year. I consider this year to be one of the best creative and
administrative work opportunities ITve had thus far. I truly hope that each one of you who
reads this publication will thoroughly enjoy the experience, derive creative inspiration
and be able to connect emotionally and spiritually with what you see. Finally, | invite you

to enjoy the 60" edition of Rebel!

EMILY BRINLEY
Editor-in-Chief

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Best in Show "oLock Out� | |
oThis piece likens rhythms of hody building to rhythms of hand-weaving,
while juxtaposing concepts of feminity and masculinity, o " Megan Turner:

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First Place ""The Errand�

oThis was one of my final projects that | made in the Animation program.

| got the idea for the story while | was teaching at a community arts center,
and | thought it would be a cool project to take on.� " Phoebe Lewis

Second Place "" Target Kinetic Logo�

oThe inspiration behind this piece was to take the Target logo and bring it
to life through animation. This animation transforms the logo using After
Effects and upheat music to emphasize the upbeat rhythm of Target.
Pieces in this animation move around the screen to keep the viewer

- engaged and entertained. " Andrew Tuso

Third Place ""Sword Motion CaptureT

oThis animation was recorded through motion capture software & exported
using Maya. For this piece, | wanted to tell the story of an egotistical
character who thinks he can accomplish anything. This tells the story of
finding a sword stuck in the ground & the struggle this character encounters
"trying to pull the sword out.� " Andrew Tuso

~ Honorable Mention " "Aperture Logo Animation�

oWhen we were given the logo project in art 3082, | chose a logo " the
game oPortal� and oPortal 2" to animate because | have always loved those
games. | learned quite a bit from this piece, & I'm very happy with how the
audio & glitch effect came out!� " Alexandra Smith

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First Place "oCarolyn: Grieving Muscles�

oThis book of paintings was a study that | did on arthritic wae | was
inspired by the phrase ogrieving muscles� and immediately thought of my
grandmother and her story. She used to be an artist, but now is unable to do
~ much artistically due to severe arthritis in her hands. | chose to explore this
through making a book of paintings, because | wanted something | made
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oThis vase without a flower is an absence of the acts of love. We ~ten
have a beautiful idea of love, but can sometimes find this idea unfulfilled.
Sometimes this action takes as small an effort as placing a single flower,
or token of love. Take a minute today to tell someone special how much you
love them, you never know just what will bloom.� " Lacey Hargroder

Third Place "oHouse in Tuscany�
oDreams of rolling turquoise hills and terracotta rooftops, a the smell of
lavender in the air inspired me to create House in Tuscany. " Laura Frye

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First Place "oOhserve, Regurgitate, Profit�

" Observe, Regurgitate, Profit is a stream of consciousness drawing,
drawn primarily in graphite on hot press water color paper. Through working
on this piece, it slowly became about the act of generating ideas through
the process of observing and re-creating those observations for profit. In
addition, the piece trails through a cycle of the mental states of generating
ideas and repeats. " Michael Richardson |

Second Place "~Inside of Trich | & II"

oLam still in the process of discovering what concentration | should get into.

| do know that | will stick to painting and drawing, even if | am not accepted "
- into the program. | was very hesitant on the subject matter because it is
something | have dealt with since | was small. | suffer from trichotillomania,
the urge to pull out my hair, and it has caused me to challenge my self-
confidence. | felt | needed to get out of my comfort zone in more than one
way. Not only did | confront the issue that | didn't want to face, but | also
experienced ink wash for the first time and grew to love it. The spontaneous
ink was inspiration from schizophrenic Chinese painters, paricularly that of Xu
Wei Doing. These drawings actually helped me understand myself better and |
hope to keep understanding.� " Carla Rivers Portillo

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The lazy ochre light filtered in from the curtains onto the pea-green walls and orange
furniture. Miles stretched spread-eagle across the shag carpeting and made puttering
noises as he flew his rocket through the air. Jamie's sandals clacked against the sticky
linoleum kitchen floor. She searched for the smaller spoons and baby Sean bobbed

in his high chair. Miles soaked in the smell of frying flour sizzling above the caked
undercurrent of tobacco that riddled the scent of chicken every so often.

oHey. Mama. Hey, hey Ma,� said Miles. He arched his back from the shag carpet
so he could just barely peer over the kitchen island.

oYeah, hon,� said Jamie with a grunt. She heaved the window sill up so just a crack
of the screen showed. She rapped the pack of Winstons against her wrist and flicked one
into her mouth. Jamie spritzed the water lily in the window with a spray bottle.

oMama, hey, I have a question,� said Miles. He flopped back down and held his
rocket in the setting sunlight that streamed through the bay window.

oTTm listening sweetie, what is it?� He squinted at the thick black letters.
He could tell what the oa� and the oo� were, but that was about it. oDo...do
you think I could fit in a rocket?�

Jamie rested her elbows on the counter and watched the smoke plume with her
breath in the November air through the screen. oSure thing. They fit a whole lot of
guys in there. Ask Mrs. Laney tomorrow in class. She could tell you who to send a
letter to.� She teased the cigarette in her teeth as she twisted the top off the jar of
pureed sweet potatoes.

oHey, Mama?� Jamie ducked her head under the stove vent and exhaled the smoke.

oWhatTs up, honey? Let me finish my cigarette right quick, clears my head.� She
ran the faucet, stubbed the cigarette out, and rolled the rest of the pack back into the
fridgeTs crisper drawer.

oDo you think I could fly up into outer space or higher?� Miles asked.

She puffed her cheeks at the baby in the highchair and dipped the spoon into his mouth
as he laughed. oYou betcha, I'll send you up some moon pies to share with Benji too, ifyou'll

share with your friend, you miser. Hold on one second, let me give Sean his dinner.�

Fiction: First Place AS

cm dl z 3 4 © 6 at 8 S| 10 iil lee Ls: 14

Miles rolled over to his lunar lander. He picked it up and put it in the sunbeams.
oBenji says that he wonTt go to space with me because I'll pee in my bed and it'll all float
around and stuff. And he said I canTt go anyway Tcause ITm not tall enough yet. He really
said that, too.� He winced as the gold foil of his lunar lander sparkled in his eye.

Jamie scooped the orange dribble off SeanTs lips and back into his mouth. oGood thing
you havenTt wet anything for two months then. And short astronauts will have more room, and
you'll get to lay out and Benji will bang his elbows on everything. It'll work out, baby.�

A glint of sunlight reflected off the lander onto a picture frame on the mantel.
Miles frowned in confusion. The left-half of the photograph was missing, an arm 1n
fatigues draped over JamieTs shoulder. The thickly creased picture showed Jamie,
smiling as she clutched a baby Miles and held her swollen stomach. oBut mama, do you
think I can go to the moon, though?�

She laughed, and Sean giggled. oWell you'll already be in space, so just hop
down onto it. They'll need someone to change out the flag by then.�

Miles sighed. oWell, I guess so,� he said, pausing with his eyebrows furrowed. oBut
is our Daddy on the moon? TCause really, PTve looked everywhere around here. When |
went to the library, | asked Dr. Ridley since heTs pretty smart, and his face got all wrinkly
and he hadnTt see him either. Maybe I'd see him on the moon with my telescope, looking
down at us, but | havenTt been there yet, so I'll send NASA a letter like you said.�

Jamie put the spoon into the food jar, and folded down onto the floor next to
Miles. oIs that why you want to go to the moon? To see if DaddyTs there?�

Miles sighed, oI mean, NASA wouldnTt tell me to look for him, but it'd be on the way.�

Jamie leaned over him and fondled the rocket in the fork of her fingers. oBut
would you want to go with NASA to the moon even if he wasnTt?�

Miles rubbed his chin like he saw on television, like the Professor when he tried to
fix the radio with coconuts. He felt more like a Gilligan. oYeah, Tcourse | would. And I'd
take pictures of our house from there to show everybody | wasnTt fibbing, honest.�

Jamie smiled and gave him the rocket. oGood. Ill put up a sign on the roof,

saying oWe Miss You Milo� and ITd make sure they gave you some more moon pies for

AA, oSundowning� By: Garrett Yarbrough



lee

14

me, to celebrate beating the aliens up there.�

Jamie rolled over and held Miles close to her, her chin on the top of his head.
oAnything you think up, Miles, I want you to go for it. Try your best, we named you
right, keep going on and on, Miles. For miles and miles.�

She nuzzled her cheek into his forehead until he pushed her face away with a giggle.
Her long black hair draped like a bed curtain around his face, quieting the music of life in

the house"his baby brother in an active mumble monologue and the muted pop of grease.

The hissing of the closetTs air filter in the alienating silence was the only sign that
the house ever held life. Miles found himself listening to the rustle of his facial hair

against his finger tips and clearing his throat to fill the quiet that still startles him.

The quilt of dust on the bottom of the closet floor dampens the reek of cigarette
smoke that somehow burrowed itself into the wool overcoats, even after forty
years. His nostrils thicken from the stirring of grime and his face twitches in the

miasma of mothball until it is no longer worth the nostalgia.

Miles stands up from the closet floor, his knees popping and grinding like
twisting apart turkey legs. Miles tucks the tin toy rocket into his belt. He leaves
the rest of the toy box in the back of the closet and wipes the dust off the bottom
of his shoes from clearing the attic onto the matted carpeting. He twists through
the galley ofa kitchen and his belt loop catches on the drawer knob of the kitchen
island. It thrusts out, tugging him back. A stack of envelopes yellowed together
spill out from the bottom of an empty scrapbook with a Coney Island sticker

on the front. Miles flicks out his pocket knife and unglues the grease-caked
envelope. On the card, Winnie the Pooh holds a balloon with a backwards five on
it. He wipes the bottom of his eye from under his glasses. The inside of the card
reads, oHope your birthday is as sweet as"�, the word ohunny� scratched out for

oMoon Pies!�

Fiction: First Place At

cm dl z 3 4 © 6 at 8 S| 10 iil lee Ls:

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ls

The drone of silent stillness prickles against his ears, taunting him about the irony
of forgetting this memory, like his mother was rubbing off on him. Miles feels guilt
for the thought boring into the pit of his stomach. He cannot stand sifting through
the corpse of the house any longer. He clears his throat once more and was too
aware of his bootTs acoustics against the linoleum as he lumbers out.

The chilled edge of the air filter hushes.

Spurts of crisp air chilled Miles and SeanTs legs. Brief drafts of wind in the
temperate heat buffeted them like quickly opening and closing a freezer door. Both
were in shorts, savoring the last remnants of summer as winter nipped at their heels.
Miles incessantly shifted his shoulders in his large itchy jersey while Sean huffed
behind him, shuffling into the newly raked leaves on their way home.

oBut Milo, if it was your birthday today instead of next week, then you
could have picked us up quick, right?� said Sean, stamping on the wet leaves
slicked by rain on the sidewalk.

oForget it, Sean, Mom would still have to drive. You can drive when you turn
sixteen, ITll be eleven. ItTs the rule,� said Miles.

oBut, but youTre not lisTning. | said if your birthday was today,� Sean said, he
paused for effect, looking up at his brother. oThen you would have five more birthdays
quicker, and then you could drive me home in a few years.�

Miles raised his eyebrow at Sean, who was shaking his head at his brother at the
simple logic. oThanks, Sean, | guess | didnTt think about it that way before,� said Miles.

oThank you, no one lisTins to me around here.�

Sean hummed and craned his head up at the trees. Miles slid a turkey oak leaf
across the pavement with one foot, grinding it down with a dull sense of impotence that
simmered behind his forehead. He looked over at Sean, who jaunted with his hands in
his pockets like a noir detective"minus two and a half feet. Miles was not angry, but felt
an undirected sense of perversion that gnawed at him inwardly. Sean was happy to play
baseball, but a shallow pit wore inside Miles that made him feel like a traitor.

Dr. Ridley had pulled Miles aside after another batter smashed the ball into the

A6 oSundowning� By: Garrett Yarbrough

1}

outfield. MilesT stomach had lurched, knowing he would be told to go to left outfield
and pick dandelions. After the game, Dr. Ridley spoke down warmly to Miles, splaying
MilesT fingers in an awkward oV� for a fast ball. The coachTs hushed osh� sounds
through his mustache tickled the back of MilesT neck. His cheeks burned at the
attention, but the same heat felt caustic at his core. He did not want to learn from the
man. Miles betrayed his father, he learned his fast ball from a man that did not hold him
on his shoulders to see fireworks or sing like Elvis along to the radio. He did not have
aman that did those things yet, but he was still saving those moments, and Dr. Ridley
took it from him. He was not a father, he was not even a omister.� He was a doctor that
did not give out medicine, just talked to people, so what did he know?

Sean giggled at a squirrel that fell offa bird feeder.

Miles was not mad at himself, but he was mad for Sean, who did not know
that he was supposed to feel defiled. oSean...does Mom...ever say anything
about our daddy?� asked Miles.

Sean gave Miles a parental grin. oNope, only when you ask. DonTt feel bad, Milo,
we don't got a daddy, but Mama says itTs all fine and all.�

Sean looked up at MilesT downturned eyes. oI donTt need a daddy cause you take
me to play baseball with you. You fix my bike for me too. [Tll stop getting the chain
twisted, honest,� said Sean.

Miles picks at his jersey. oWell I'll make sure my kids know who their dad is, not
mo ome cise, ic said.

oOr their mama,� said Sean.

oEspecially not to forget about their mama,� said Miles, and he thumped SeanTs
cap down over his eyes.

Sean grunted and pushed into his brother. oCome on Milo, ~lax, Mama will get
enough presents for your birthday, like from both a mommy and daddy,� said Sean.

Miles slid his baseball glove off the end of his bat and tossed it to Sean. oSee if it
fits,� he said, oYour birthday isnTt too far away either.�

Sean grinned and shoved on the glove. It was a bit big, but he flapped his arm like

Fiction First Place A

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he was about to take flight. It would not fall off, and Miles laughed.

Sean asked Miles to pull it off. oMilo, PTve still got some nickels from my ~lowance
left, will you stop worryinT me if | get you some ice cream?�

The cold wind scattered leaves from the yards into the street. Sean yipped and
hopped through them as the breeze swirled them around Miles. They both dove into

the massive mound of leaves at the corner of their yard.

Miles hauls out the last of his motherTs clothes in computer boxes, sorting them
by season and color. The variety was more for the staff rather than his mother.
She could wear the same floral blouse and mint green nightgown every day and

never get tired of it.

Miles slides the grill into the garage and sifts the ashes into a bucket underneath.

He barely manages to squeeze out of the narrow passage from the cluttered

garage. Throughout the house, Miles sees no vestiges of entertainment, no

paintbrushes or paper, no stitching fabrics or beginnings of quilts anymore,

just duster wands and Pine-Sol. The kitchen, living room, and bedrooms of the

house are immaculate, not a single fiber out of place. However, closets, garages,

and cabinets accumulate the rest of the homeTs refuse, like each day his mother

cleaned her way across the house, but began again the next day"never making it

to the homeTs extremities.

Miles cannot help but think what kind of life his mother will try to breathe

into a home where everyone else does the living for her.

The summer breeze gushed into the kitchen and brought with it the sizzling of
the grill, the click of dog nails on linoleum, and MilesT clipped curses.

The husky tried to bound onto the counter, but knocked the counted-out
birthday candles underneath the kitchen island and the rest of the candles scattered
across the counter. The phone in the den started to ring off the hook.

Miles scooted the dog back outside and shouted back into the kitchen: oSean,

AS oSundowning� By: Garrett Yarbrough

could you get those candles? The phoneTs Cammie. | bet sheTs stuck on the ice cream
cake, but Mom mentioned German chocolate from BurnieTs.�

Sean gave a slapstick salute. oAye aye, boss man.�

Jamie bent over and started sweeping the candles into her apron. She called
up from the floor to Miles, oTell her ITm not particular about it. Heaven knows that
woman has been through enough with you sending her looking for three million
candles. How about you break in those new marriage vows and go have an argument in
the store with her instead of over the phone?�

Sean spun around. oMa, come on, ITve got those, go sit and watch the rest of the
Sunday Morning Show, or whatever you old people do. You're going to miss all the
birds and babbling brooks at the end.�

Jamie dropped a mound of candles back onto the counter and divwied them out.

oSixty-three? Going back a bit, Mom?� Sean laughed. She grimaced at him and
slid over three more. Miles strode through the kitchen to snatch the car keys out of his
hat. oAll right Ma, if you insist on the extra year ITIl let it slide, but I'll have to get the
fire department over since | only had sixty-five of °em cleared.�

Miles closed the door behind him but could not shrug off his motherTs strained smile.

Miles locks up the house and slips the key ring around the nose of the toy rocket.
He hefts the last box into the back of the truck and gazes one last time at the
home. Without the velvet curtains keeping the waning sunlight inside, he could
see to the back of the house. Just a husk, none of the encyclopedia sets that got

hocked onto them by Benji or the Apollo 17 poster in the skylight anymore.

The trees in the yard had become sparser, through storms and lumbering,

but also in the sobering way adults shrank from towering giants to fit into a

firm handshake. Miles had learned to appreciate the warm sepia haze of intact
memories, and to imbibe in the cozy wash, to let it seep through his bones before

it drifted away. He wants to get away from the house before the image of its

Fiction: Hirst Place AQ

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shambling corpse latches into him and festers the fond memories.

Miles walks up to the mailbox to take the monogrammed holiday flag off. He
stops underneath the holly tree. It made it through three hurricanes and a young
electrician with a new cherry picker, and it would last another Christmas without

them. He snips a laurel with his pocket knife for the mantel.

The cool blue sheen of the nightTs fresh snow chilled the greens of the trees
and red of the holly berries darker. Miles peered through the window to see a rich
golden glow from the fire and the bright faces of his wife and baby girl shining, and the
resounding laughter from Sean huddled with Becky, the beginnings of his brother's
better half. MilesT mother rocked in her recliner with a reserved but proud smile by the
fire that tightened her faint wrinkles and emblazoned her ash-colored hair.

Miles walked back into the house with a relieved Buck, and shimmied past
Cammie bent over the stove with gingerbread. She fed a piece to pig-tailed Samantha
in the high chair. Gammie gasped as he pinched her and he strolled into the den to
help his mother rearrange the antenna as ItTs a Wonderful Life stuttered behind the
static. It came in as clear as it could with the snow drizzling into drifts outside. Miles
slipped the holly cluster into his motherTs hair.

oCammie, come on, leave the bread! YouTve been working yourself to the bone.
ItTs Christmas, even Jesus took a break at the end of the week,� said Miles.

Sean draped his arm across the rest of Becky not swaddled up in the burgundy
quilt. She pulled her turtleneck back up and cradled her head in the crook of his arm.
Sean piped up, oWell you're only a testament off.�

Cammie sidled up next to Miles, bouncing baby Samantha on her knee, and
Jamie nestled back into her recliner.

oIT swear Sean, if you get The Good Book out, ITm walking two blocks down to
spend the rest of Hanukkah with the Shultzes,� said Miles.

Jamie raised her arms and said, oCome on now, boys, be civilized. The Schulzes have a tree

up at least. Come get your presents before the women folk start thinking I raised ingrates.�

AQ) oSundowning� By: Garrett Yarbrough

Sean put the Santa hat on and dug underneath the tree. oMom, whose bag is this?�

oIt belongs to your lady, son.�

oYou mean Becky?�

oSure, | canTt keep up with them anymore, shug.T

oAnd this oneTs for...oCassidy?T�

oDo [have to get up and give them out myself?�

oMom, is everything fine?� said Miles.

Cammie sat up. oMs. Connelly, itTs fine, thank you for the present"no matter
what name is on there,� she said, and grinned thinly at Miles.

Sean looked up at his mother and wiped the evergreen needles off his palms.
oMama, Miles and Cammie have been married three years.�

Miles frowned at Sean. oGive it a rest. Honest mistake.�

Sean sat upright. In the next room, he could see a miniature Ferris wheel with a
bow on top. oTo my Moon Man,� read the card next to it.

He looked over at his mother. oWell, maybe we should get Dr. Ridley down after
New Year's. Have him over for your monkey bread,� said Sean.

Jamie dug her nails into the armrest and looked back over at Miles. The fingers
on her left hand formed a oV,� primed to pitch a cigarette between them. oMason
Ridley has plenty of business in Syracuse.�

She turned up the TV. The tnny dialogue and crackling static pressed heavily

against the blanket of silence that fell over the room.

ce 9

other, don t you remember me? Im your son, George.T
~George who? [ve never had ason, named George! Get out of here before [call the police!�
Jamie muted it. oITm going to step out to smoke, y'all open up what Santa left
you. Going to think for a bit. If you're lucky, itTs not all clothes.�
Becky breathed out and cinched the quilt higher around her neck. The storm
door hissed shut behind Jamie, the cold flickering the fire. Sean and Miles exchanged

uneasy looks and the television flashed across their faces in the silence.

Fiction: First Place 5 |

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14

The first murmurings of the cicadas and bleats of the tree frogs electrifies the
silence that had comforted Miles as he watches the last twinkling of life shine

through the house's eyes.

Miles folds the last of his motherTs clothes into the trunk and straps it down to the
truck bed. He climbs onto the back and sits facing the house. The sunset begins
to dip below the trees and the homeTs roof eclipses the last of the deep orange

waves lapping against the pines, tinting the house a melancholy blue.

He slaps his jeans and clambers off the truck bed with a grunt. He pulls out his
phone to call Sean, in case his battery needs to be jumped. They'd have to stay
the night in the house, of course. The engine turns over without a hitch. Miles
trains the mirror on the window of his old bedroom. The truck spits gravel into
his diminishing view of the hollow house.

The oven fan still droned to extract the last of the grease fog. Cartoons flashed
and yelped on the television with Samantha sprawled out across the floor, the
epicenter of a hurricane of dolls, horses, and pink castle masonry. She bent her head
over her castle walls to gape at her show.

Miles settled into his recliner and scraped the last of the grits out of his bowl. He
would have to shower at some point, but he snapped open his laptop and stewed in
the cloud of bacon that rolled off him. He began to type, oNASA Application Draft,�
sighed, and added o#6.� He paused and bit his lip before he scavenged through his
graveyard of leadership positions and research credits. Samantha giggled and danced
her footie-pajamacd legs in the air, tossing a princess over the castle. He pattered out
a boldened header: oMake her proud. You arenTt finished.�

oHey, Daddy. Dad,� said Samantha.

oWhat's up, Sammie?� asked Miles. He closed the laptop and scooted
onto the carpet with her.

She puffed out her cheeks in befuddlement. oWell, Daddy, do princesses make money?�

The morning sunlight streamed through the curtains and he caught a glimpse

BS) oSundowning� By: Garrett Yarbrough

of the pictures on the mantel, shining like the gold glint of a lunar lander toy. oThey
don t have a salary, but money isnTt much ofa problem for them, no.�

oDo you and Mommy have sal-ries?� asked Samantha.

oYeah, we do, but princesses get a lot of money from their parents, they just do a couple
things here and there to help out their people. Like the Princess of Wales,� said Miles.

oLike Ariel? She had whales, I think. | know mermays are all made-up, but can
| be a princess?� asked Samantha. She clapped her hands to her cheeks and then
clapped her fatherTs arms, to make sure he was listening.

oYour Mom and I canTt help the heredity part, otherwise you d already be a
princess, but yeah honey, you could still be a princess, but you have to find a prince
first,� said Miles. He leaned back and sat her on his knee. He perked his eyebrows at
her, and said, oI guess your best option is to marry a dashing European prince. You
eeta castle out of the deal, or a really big house depending on the EU, I guess.�

Samantha grimaced and shook her head. oNuh-uh, nope. Not happening. Princes stink.�

Miles laughed. oYeah, those guys do smell funny.�

She frowns and cups her chin in her hands. oOh man,� Samantha said.

oWhat, you donTt like the perks of social democracy, honey? ItTs a
pretty sweet deal for royal people.�

oWe-ell, | mean, what do I do with all that? ItTs not my castle then, is it? I donTt get
to have my own kingdom. Oh, poo, ITve got to sleep on that one, Daddy,� said Samantha.

Miles tickled her side. oWhat, you donTt want to be a princess anymore?�

Samantha put her arm over his shoulder, and said oBut I won't be helping people
that way! I mean, Jasmine, Ok? Jasmine still gets to jump all over the place, she gets to
help people, and...and she gets a tiger.�

oOh, you want a job then?� said Miles with a smile.

Samantha lights up. oYeah, I wanna help people, and, and maybe,� she said, oall
of the people will be real happy and maybe they'll like me so much that they say, oHey,
giver the kingdom,T and I'll get a bear, because bears are a lot cooler than tigers ocause

tigers are big cats and cats are all itchy and bears can carry me around and tuck me in

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like you do when ITm all tired out from helping people, and he'll be really fuzzy and my
eyes wonT tall itch up from his fur from algaes like JennyTs kitty does.�

Miles looks at her surprised. oBut if you do that, won't you miss sleeping in your
castle? Bears canTt fit in a house,� he said.

Samantha shook her head again. Her daddy just does not understand it. oOh,
no way, TIl still be a princess, donTt worry about it. You get a bear too to tuck you in
because youTre too heavy for me to tuck you in if you fall asleep in the car,� she said.

Miles laughed. oI hope I donTt fall asleep in the car, because I'll really need the
bear to carry me in then. Helping people and being a princess sounds like a real good
job for you, Sammie,� Miles said.

She looked at him quizzically, with her signature edge of cheek. oWell ifyou
get to be a princess and run everything, itTs part of the job. Doesn't the princess in
America help people? SheTs a-sposed to.�

Miles could not help it, and laughed again, hugging her. oTook the words right
out of my mouth. You'll be a better princess than we've got right now,� he said.

He nuzzled Samantha until she pushed him away. His beard was too crusty, she
said. Miles sat there, holding his daughter and watching cartoons with her. A wistful
joy curled through him as a rocket took off on the screen. He looked up at the mantel,
and he was in every single picture with his family.

Cammie walked into the living room, yawning with her hand pressed against her
back. Her maternity dress hung off of the swollen stomach she cradled with her other
arm. Miles guided her down to the floor and kissed her hair. He picked up a princess

doll with a glittering blue gown, gave it to Cammie, and all three became a royal family.

The periodic plink of the condensation in the truckTs exhaust pipe is the only man-
made noise in the highwayTs scenic rest stop, besides the rustling of the paper bag
that held MilesT lunch. He lets the sluggish sunlight wash over him while he ate until
his forehead grows taut. The whispering pines and warbling songbirds lulls him

into a trance, the first moment in weeks he has had a clear mind.

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Faint squeaks and purring draw MilesT sight to the base of a tree at the edge of

a clearing. [wo baby rabbits wriggle through the fallen straw, one with a blade
of grass in its mouth dragging itself to its bleating sibling. Miles watches with
abashed curiosity, and realizes that for the entire hour he has lounged, the
infant bearing food had been crawling toward their hole. It stops just short with
one final heave, enough for the racking squeaks to stop and his brother to eat.
Miles waits uneasily for the small brown lump to chirp. Its brother nudges it. No

movement but its ribTs silent heaving. The sibling wiggles back into its hole.

Miles grunts to return to his truck, but swishing in the underbrush keeps him
glued to his heels. The mother rabbit bounds from a nearby bush and waddles to
its kit crying for its mama. They nestle close, and the nodding infant feeds and
curls into sleep. The mother hops to its other child, sniffing. It is sull breathing

shallowly. The mother rabbit hops away again into the growth.

A new, morose edge to the reedy rhythm of nature that Miles has been enjoying
gives a hollow edge to his bones. Despite the cheery sun, Miles feels a cutting
undercurrent among the murmuring forest, dividing him from the rest of nature.
Now feeling the isolation of the clearing, Miles tosses away the bag lunch into a
municipal dump"stamped trash can he had not noticed in the cleanly-circular
glade. Miles hurries to his truck and tears away from the disquieting rest stop.
Miles pulled the pickup up under the speckled shade of the holly tree. The
sweltering July sun was enough to roast his forearms across the steering wheel, and his
skin slithered out from beneath his shirt against the smothering humidity. The pickup
door clunked shut, but nothing else could be heard besides the whisper of the tops of
the pines. No martins, no tree frogs. The air conditioner sizzled silently without even
the light tink of condensation.
Miles nervously ran his finger across the band of sweat underneath his watch. He
picked up his walk to the front door into a brisk clip.

He rapped the storm door. oMom?� No answer. oMama?�

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He leaned into the door and it swung open effortlessly. The surge of torrid heat
steamed up MilesT glasses. A scream from the kitchen. The kettleTs shriek tapered
down after Miles switched off the stove.

oMom?�

oIn the back bedroom, honey!� Jamie called.

Puzzled creases rumpled across his face as he explored the kitchen. Crumbs crackled
underneath his boots while he walked to turn the thermostat down by fifteen degrees.

oI, uh, brought back your pie tins, Mom. Do you want them back under the stove?�

He craned his neck around the corner of the kitchen to the dark hallway that
retreated to the back of the house.

oJust sit them on the island counter, ITve got some apple preserves left
co Munich! ote she called.

Miles sat them down with a clack, next to the calendar pillboxes. Monday and
Tuesday were untouched. He flipped on the light switches as he wandered to the back
room. oDo you want me to fish the apples out of the pantry? I can get the back-room
thermostat if you want,� he said.

oMiles, just leave it. [t was as cold as a witchTs tit last night and the quiltTs in the
wash. My clumsy hands went and spilled some chicken and rice soup on it,� said Jamie.

Miles hugged her from the back. oI donTt know how you do it, itTs a high of
cighty-nine and muggy enough to strangle frogs,� he said.

oTTll come back up to the den in a second, ITve been dragging my feet all week
and ITm finally getting around to the laundry,� Jamie said. She shooed him off, not
making eye contact. A yellow splotch on the folded blouse caught MilesT eye.

oMa, did you put in enough detergent? ThereTs a spot on your shirt there.�

oTTve been doing my own laundry for sixty years, | donTt think | need any help,�
she snapped. Miles walked back to the kitchen and ducked into the pantry for the
canned apples. Jamie shuffled in and took the pie crust from out of his hands.

oThatTs a handsome baby boy, Miles. | know heTs fresh from the nursery, but bring

him to visit. HeTs got to get used to his Nonnie pretty quick, now doesnTt he? His savings

56 oSundowning� By: Garrett Yarbrough

bond is over on the desk. Cammie sent me the pictures in the mail. DannyTs got your
chin, but thank goodness, heTs got those pretty eyes of hers. Maybe heTll get his smarts
from both of you,� she said. Her eyes twinkled and she elbowed Miles.

He laughed. oMaybe heTll be the one to get to the moon, then.�

oI donTt doubt any of it. He'll get there for sure, you guys keep popping
them out till one of them can send me back a moon rock. ITve still got an empty
space on the mantel,� she said.

Miles looked down at his motherTs busy hands. One hand spread out the apples
while her left extended two fingers forked for a cigarette.

She looked back over her shoulder at him. oHoney, pass me those cigarettes.
ITve been putting aside money for Winstons for fifty years, and they up and change the
recipe on me. Taste like ditch weeds now. HowTs that for brand loyalty?�

He tapped her pack of Pall Malls against his wrist and passed one to her. oThe
moon's supposed to be real big tonight,� Miles said.

She walked to the window and hunched her shoulder down to the screen. Jamie
laughed. oThe prettiest moon I ever saw was back in...back in...yeah, it was 1953.
That was when | was up in Brooklyn. That was after your Uncle Wally got his number
called for Korea, at the end of the whole ordeal, but still, | wanted to find somewhere
that had a little more to plan for than make tea and wait for the rest of your brothersT
letters to come in the mail. So | hopped a train up to New York. I was thinking that I
could find somewhere in Manhattan, dance in the streets, and bump into Frank Sinatra
at the laundromat. So | found a dump in Brooklyn.�

Miles saw his mother exhale under the sill and a dreamy smile crept across her face.

oThat moon sure was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen, somehow grander
than over Brisco. Like it sparkled. You took me over to Coney Island, you hoped |
forgot, didnTt you? You showed up with three daisies and were soaked from the knees
down, but you made sure that hat on your head poked out at an angle.� Jamie laughed.

oAnd then you took me out to Coney Island. Yessiree, | had a ball, I really did.

We held hands and the moon was as big as the Ferris wheel. You had that spark in

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your eye, and we took off down the pier and splashed out onto the beach. When you
squeezed my hand, I felt like [ had swallowed that moon whole and I hoped my teeth
were sparkling and my eyes were shining, just to impress you. Right then and there, |
knew I had gone and fell in love with you, Richard.�

Jamie blinked. Her mouth silently gasped and she pursed her lips tight. With a
knit of her brow, she flicked the cigarette in the sink. Jamie finished the pie in silence,

but Miles thought, Richard, Richard, Richard, and wouldn't forget the name.

The lull of the humming country roads and the permission of the drooping sun

urges Miles to shift his gaze to the distant hilltop to his left. The small crosses that

pricked the hilltop carry their languid whispers to him in the lilting breeze that
skims the browning trees. The crosses speak of the same name that was breathed
into his ear in countless cemeteries over the past six years, until one cross showed
Miles where his father Richard waited for him. Not under the mares of the moon,
but beneath a listless headstone bearing an engraved American flag. As he stood
stiffly over the grave, he did not hear his father, but SeanTs voice slip between the

marble crosses. His father was still the man on the moon. But not his daddy.

The grinding of his wheels against the notches on the side of the highway

snatch Miles from his reverie. Newer names replace oRichard,� as the empty

crater worn into his heart has not been filled but woven over with the threads

that connect him to his blossoming family.

And Jamie, Sean, Cammie, Samantha, and Danny will not forget him.

oWow, I'll try my best to remember, Becky Connelly, this time, sorry brother,
not used to you being a tied-down man,� laughed Miles. He adjusted his vest that kept
wrinkling above his developing potbelly. Sean clapped him on the back, oPlenty of
time for talk after | get back from Bermuda.�

Clinking of champagne glasses and hearty chuckles reverberated down from the
dark wood arches of the chapel. Warm rainbows scattered across the tiled floor from

the mosaic windows. Across the sea of smiling heads and shimmering dresses, Miles

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saw Sean catch his gaze over the din of the wedding reception.

Sean's ear-to-ear grin that wouldnTt crack throughout the entire wedding
drooped as he steered Miles into the chapelTs anteroom.

oListen, Miles, I sure as sunshine donTt want to bring down the mood"believe
you me"but after Mom got here, you havenTt looked at her the same. YouTve seen it
too. | know I could pick a better time, but I want to have a heart-to-heart with just you,
and itTs hard to do that from three states away.�

Miles shrugged his brotherTs arm off his shoulder. He adjusted his vest and glared,
twisting his wedding band. Sean returned his glare unwavered. oThis talk has to happen,
you know it more than anyone. ITm talking to you for your own sake. SheTs my mother,
she tucked me in every night, and let me get away with faking the chicken pox so I could
watch cartoons. | love her more than anyone in the world. Except you,� said Sean.

Miles turned around to walk back into the banquet hall. Sean clamped down on
his shoulder. He tried, but Miles couldnTt help but feel his brotherTs words weave
through his heartstrings and resonate in some core place that he didnTt recognize.

oItTs a hole, Milo. Any hope that you might see down there, itTs another rope so you
can go deeper. Your kids know how wonderful a woman she is, and we have to think about
where she might have to settle down. DonTt entertain those fantasies of hers anymore. Let
Samantha and Danny remember their Nonnie before she canTt do the same for them.�

Miles pulled Sean in and they embraced. oI love you, Sean. But I canTt
promise anything,� Miles said. oSheTs still my mama, not all the time, but
when sheTs there I canTt let her forget that.�

Shuffled footsteps crept up behind Sean and tapped him on the shoulder. Jamie
held his arm and spoke to him, trying valiantly to look secretive.

oSean-Bon, do you know where they are?� Jamie asked.

He sighed, oBeckyTs over by the buffet table, Ma.�

She shook her head. oNo, everyoneTs crying. Is there a wake? So I can pay my respects?�

Sean's shoulders dropped. He slumped down and hugged her tight. Miles saw

the playful look Jamie cast at him, but the corners of her mouth were a bit too flat, her

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eyes too tepid. She tried to hide it with humor, but he could see the questions that her

pursed lips kept from bubbling to the surface.

The rolling hills along the road slope down, winding down to a lake with spiraling
white specks that circle the surface, glimmering in the low sun. Miles passes a

tourist station, the flapping stars and stripes above it snapping his gaze.

Despite all the questions Miles had about Richard, he still came too late, and
Miles has learned to appreciate the unanswerable. He only knows Richard as the
outline of the questions he has collected, and he created his own answers that

his mama entertained. Thirty years ago, his father was an astronaut, and then a
cowboy, then a famed playwright, and then simply a man. But Miles knew all of
those as his father, and now too as the picture of the man in his wallet, with SeanTs

grin and MilesT mole on his neck.

He turns down the radio, rolling into the outlet, crunching along the

mile drive to Swan Valley.

Only the incandescent desk lamp lit a corner of the study. Miles sat alone and
cradled his head in his hands with no concept of how long he had been sitting apart
from the wood grain imprint on his forearms and each crack of the clockTs hands.
The buzzing silence when Cammie treaded in from the dark into the doorway with a
kindred, but plaintive expression.

oSwan Valley? Miles, we canTt move her to any assisted living facility closer"let
alone a village. They cut me down to ten months, and you already put your chips
all-in,� said Cammie. She scooted onto the desk bench next to him. She exhaled and
began to flip through the envelopes and binder-clipped stacks strewn across the desk
to create some order among them.

oLT won't try to weigh in on this. You donTt have to say a word. SheTs your
mother, and I wouldn't know what to begin to sacrifice to show my mother the

kind of love that she feels from you.�

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Cammie leaned her head onto his shoulder and reached her arm up to rub his back.
oT told Sam and Danny that we arenTt going to Disney. They didnTt go quietly, but it
could've been worse if Samantha had already seen the Cinderella dress you got her. Just
get some rest, I'll bring them back tonight. The receipts were still in the bag.�

She brushed her lips against his neck. He didnTt look up, so Cammie closed the
door to the office behind her. But Miles spoke up.

oShe called him Steven today. ITve never seen Sean cry, so I walked out to go to
the bathroom. She tried to take the stitches out of the spot on her arm, so he tried to
stop her. | couldnTt believe what she said. She wasnTt Mama anymore, she told him
~DonTt you touch me, youTve done enough, putting me in here so you can wait for me
to die without faking that lying grin of yours.�� Miles laced his fingers behind his head
and looked up at Cammie. Dried tears stained his glasses.

oShe said, oGo get Milo, my son.��

Miles heard Cammie shuffle across the carpet back to their bedroom. The
television switched on. He sat alone and listened to the isolating tick of the clock.
MilesT rheumy eyes dragged up to see a photograph of his mother surrounded by
Miles, Cammie, Danny, and Samantha. They were all smiles, but Jamie gazed past the
camera, her head slightly angled. He flipped the frame face-down.

oDaddy?� Danny peered over at his father, hugging the doorway.

oWhat's up, champ? Want me to get you some milk and a moon pie?� asked
Miles, with a faint smile.

oNah, | already have to pee, and MommyTll make me brush my teeths all again,�
said Danny. oI was walking home from school, okay, and all of these guys were playing
baseball in the park, and | saw that and I was like, oThat looks like i'll be fun and, and
good for my cord-nation like Daddy says.T And then I walk over there, and I see Mr.
Jim, just talking at them. He says heTs the coach. And I can play!�

Danny looked downward. He said, oBut I donTt have nothing to play it with,� but
Danny brightened up. oCould you teach me how?�

Miles sat up and looked at his boyTs beaming face. He looked at the frame face-

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down and back at Danny. oSure thing, but ITve got to drive over to see your Nonnie
tomorrow, but I can do it this weekend if you're game,� said Miles.

Danny perked up, nodded, and walked out of the study into the dark. Miles heard
him talk to Cammie. oHe said ono.T Can Mr. Jim pick me up?�

MilesT heart plummeted through his chest and sunk into a crater that deepened
with age, a hole in the shape of a fatherTs hand. Without a word, Miles slid the photo of
his mother into the desk drawer out of sight and flicked off the desk lamp. The lonely
night reclaimed the house, without a beacon to guide Miles to bed or through the
desolate halls of his dreams.

Although the glass walls and sunshine highlighted the modernity of the

facility, the empty hallways and stone and wood architecture did not

diminish how Miles viewed the assisted living community: a cold lockbox,

a primed coffin in all but name to put family aside until itTs opened again to

crack inheritance out of their dead brittle fingers.

Miles walks up to the front desk. oHi, is Jamie Connelly in her room?� ~The
receptionistTs bangs bounce as she shakes her head. oOut by the pond, Miles.
SheTs been harassing all the nurses to bring her out today. Eventually Reggie

heard, and you know heTs got a soft spot for Miss Jamie.�

He scratches down his name and lets the pen dangle, the chain clacking against
the linoleum desk. The receptionist leans over to catch him before he heads out.

oNot bringing her any moon pies today?�

Miles twists to push the door open with his back. oNot this time,

Sharom, Met the elt of conversation.

Sharon leans back into her chair. oShe might fall asleep on you, sheTs been

keeping the swans entertained all day, and theyTre good listeners.�

oSee Ma, this oneTs not as bad, look out the windows. Swans. And Miss Sharon
up front, sheTs real nice, she says that you can go down to the pond any time you like

when you're waiting for me. The swans will keep you company until I can drive over.�

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Jamie slumped against her walker and lurched to the window next to Miles. Her
dry hand rasped against the weathered canvas of his jacket. When her hand began to
tremble on his shoulder, he turned his head to the sunset. Her fingers slid down his
arm, but he caught them, and held her fast.

She smiled thinly up at him and looked out the window too. The right side of her
smile drooped down but she still managed to make it curl at the end. oMoonTs pretty
tonight, Milo,� she said. He squinted up at it, the faint glow blurring his vision.

oItTs sull pretty down here,� he whispered.

o| wish I couldTve taken you to Cape Canaveral. I keep thinking that if you saw
a rocket get all the way up there, actually see it go so high that it disappeared, you
might've made it on the next trip up,� said Jamie.

oT thought about it too, Ma. It'd get pretty lonely. I think ITve found everything
I was looking for down here instead. You, Sean...Cammie, Sam, and Danny,� Miles
said. He looked down at her. She nodded at the empty names and didnTt say a word.
He looked back up to the sky.

oTd be afraid that after a while, Danny would forget how my snoring sounds, and he
would stop complaining. ITd be afraid ITd forget the small things that make my family,� Miles
said. He looked down pensively at Jamie. The creases under his eyes were cracked from too
many floods and the dark bags discolored from his heart when it leaks through his tears.

oAre you afraid of forgetting things too, Mama?�

She stretched her fingers underneath his hand, forking her front two. oYou'd never
forget your family, Milo. TheyTd never let you go a day without making sure you knew it.�
Her fingers went lax. oHey, just got back from the house, three roast beef

sandwiches, from the butcher in Brisco,� said Sean, walking in from the hallway.

Jamie nudged Miles and whispered in his ear, oDid you call a nurse?�

oYeah Ma, I called him before I got here, so he could get it ready for a
picnic if you wanted,� said Miles.

He looked back and shook his head to Sean. SeanTs eyes went placid, his face

engraved in marble. oWhat did he say to you?� he asked Jamie.

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Miles gave another curt shake, but Sean couldnTt let the glimmer of fear he saw in
his brother slide again. oMaTam, I apologize, did you want roast beef? I got in a rush,
but I think I remember you telling me you were more of a BLT gal,� said Sean.

Miles squeezed his motherTs hand, anything to give her a signal. She looked
up at him fazed and said, oITm not picky young man, just sit them over there on the
nightstand, Miles will set up a blanket for us two down by the pond in a bit.�

SeanTs face crumpled from statue to thunderhead, but before he could open his mouth,

Miles snatched him by the shoulder to the corner. oSean, do not do this. SheTs got nothing else.
SheTs all alone till | can get here, donTt ruin the few times she can enjoy being herself,� he said.

Miles lowered his voice. oI found Daddy.�

Sean looked him in the eyes listless. oYou should be ashamed. That wonTt bring
her back and you know it. You just want her lucid for a second, just long enough to say
she loves you one more time. And mean it. And bold-faced lying to your mother like
that to do it, just pushing her deeper in her head. You might not see it, but I sure do,
she gets farther away quicker than the last. Each chance you get, you let her drift off to
New York, China, or even if she says she fought little men on Jupiter. ItTs not a mercy,
you re just sitting there, watching her drown, Miles! When she comes back for air,
you donTt pull her out, you just push her right back under"right back to Candy Land. I
know she hates it here, she wants to be somewhere else, but donTt be selfish Milo.�

Miles turned back to look at Jamie, scrambling through drawers for the glasses
hanging around her neck. Sean spoke directly into his ear: oPlease donTt do it. You love
them more than that. WeTve seen more than enough. Sam and Danny donTt need this.�

SeanTs voice hitched. oI showed her BeckyTs ultrasound. Her grandson. She
smiled at it and asked me if Border Collies shed that bad. Miles, look at me. I pointed
to it, ~thatTs going to be Cole, Mama.T She patted my hand and said, oThatTs a beautiful
name,T and | went to get her some water. She turned around and told me to sit down,
ITm the best nurse sheTs had all day, the other ones can go get the coal.�

Miles grabbed the nearest blanket and the sandwiches to corral his mother toward

the door, but Sean planted himself in the way.

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oHere you go maTam, already had your glasses, looks like,� said Sean, pointing to
the chain around her neck.

oThank you, shug! I get so absent-minded sometimes,� she laughed.

oNota problem at all. And maTam, so sorry to bother you about this, but could
you tell me more about your other son, Sean? He said over the phone heTd show up for
the picnic, but I can go look for him to make sure he didnTt get lost. The hallways are
real confusing in here, I swear.�

Jamie held her breath. oWell,� she began, oHeTs always had the smoothest honey
hair, a gorgeous grin, and a little boy on the way! Make sure to ask him about that, he
lights right up, you'll know itTs him from the smile. He canTt wait to be a daddy.�

Without missing a beat, Sean pointed to himself in the family photo on
her mantel. oIs that your son?�

Jamie gave him a kind, curious look. She tapped her forked fingers against
her chin, like she could not decide whether to take a drag from a cigarette. Miles
saw her concentrate, her jaw bulged against her teeth. She crumpled her fingers
back into her pocket in defeat.

Sean looked across the room at Miles. A gnarled smile etched into his
checks, twisting his glistening eyes further back. oHave a nice day you two. And
congratulations ma'am, for stopping smoking. It had to be difficult, | know my
mother had a hard time with it,� said Sean. He walked out the door and dabbed
the collar of his jacket at his eyes.

oThank you, honey! It was the hardest thing I ever did, but it was sure worth it!
Didn't want them growing up sick, so I did it for my two boys.�

Miles almost feels sick to his stomach. He watches her snow-white head bob in
her wheelchair, out at the dock. The swans flutter across the pond and pirouette closer
to her. His fingers rub the worn folds of the two pictures in the plastic of his wallet.
Cammie and himself, tottering in the lake holding up Sam and Danny, grabbing at
their parentsT hair. Miles as a child, stoic while Sean cracked his winning smile"Jamie

squeezing his shoulder to get him to sit still. He flicked out the photo of Richard

Fiction: First Place 65

14

cm

Tre ree eS RE Ee FST SP TET FT EN HVT OM RR HA SN TS TT FE SLITS SIO NPI SNE

ISSR II DRT Le ADDED TTT RT TT

Connelly and slipped the wallet back into his pocket.
oHi, Momma, howTre the water lilies this morning?� asks Miles, the iron patio chair
scraping the dock as he pulled it next to her wheelchair.

oOh Richard, darling, theyTre just grand. Look at that one there, as white as
snow, that one,� she said. She withdrew her hand from underneath her quilt, leaning
toward Miles, her hand wavering at the willow at the other end of the pond. The warm
wind slipped the lily closer to the pier, like a blushing classmate passing a valentine
across the desk toward them.

Both of them look over the pond at the geese flying in an arrowhead loosed to land
thankfully far away. Somewhere else than the bleached village milling with calloused
women in bleached frocks, wheeling about aimless men and women with bleached hair.
Miles saw the geese snag one manTs gaze, carrying it for him. Maybe to Florida.

He digs into his pocket and slides her the crisp new photograph. Miles nestles
the picture into her aged leather hands. oYou can keep this one of the grandkids, Ma.
Put it on your mantel next to the other pictures.�

She smiles, her eyes drifting back to the swans.

oDanny and Sam are really enjoying their new school. We moved down to Tampa
a bit back, and SamTs already got herself'a place in the school play. SheTs going to be a
great Dorothy, but we were worried a bit about Danny. It was all for nothing, though,
since heTs gotten keen on the Scouts. ItTs something new every month with him, but hey,
at least itTs expanding his horizons. Well, heTs still as fired up as ever to play baseball
every week. Got a great arm, that boy. CammieTs having a time getting the house
straightened since by the time the kids get home, everything's scattered across the house
again. You know how Cammie is, she always has to be worked up over something.�

Jamie continues to sway in her chair.

oShe doesnTt mind though, especially when the kids ask if friends can come over,� says Miles.

He paused. oWhat do you think about somewhere warmer, Mama?� A swan flies over
the willow and her head turns with it. Miles watches her lips chanting silently, maybe reminding

herself to tie offa few floating memories. Anchored so they donTt drift away like lilies.

66 oSundowning� By: Garrett Yarbrough

ls

cm

He brushes a fly away from her eyelid.

oThe flies and mosquitos arenTt as bad down there since we have a place on the
waterfront. ThereTs a breeze. It wouldn't take too long to pack a bag and get on the road. The
folks here could drive the rest to us, and you could tell me your stories every day,� Miles says.

He holds the picture of Richard in front of her vacant eyes.

oI found Daddy, Ma. A colonel at Camp Atterbury, said he was a historian, found
him for me. He told me that his medical record was pulled after he got back from
Vietnam. They think the defoliants gave him leukemia, but he waited too long. Could
you tell me about him, Mama?�

Jamie laughs a little to herself, dragging out the last chuckle tll her breath faded.

Miles exhaled raggedly. oYou let him go, so we wouldn't see him lose who he was, didnTtyou?�

Her head bobs with the light that dances around the lily, ebbing closer. She offers an agape
erin. oRichie, do you remember telling me that? About the lilies on the river? I'd try to save one
for the mantel, but it'd always die after a day or so. But you told me, oJamie, just let it be.�

She closes her trembling hand around his. She turns to him with a sharpness Miles couldn't
recognize in her anymore, two of her shaking fingers on her left hand stretching into aoV�.

9192)

oRichie, you'd tell me, ~Jamie, just leave the lilies be,� she says, her voice
catching in her throat. oThey always find their way back, as white as you saw them last,
even if they dry out, they'll come back if you put them where they belong.T And then
you put the lily back in the river, and wouldnTt you know it, the next morning it was as
white as the snow. I think about that more than you'd imagine...Richie.�

Miles holds her hand as her eyes struggle to train on the lily, glistening with
tears, but she couldnTt follow it as the pad drifts under the pier. He twists his wedding
band around his finger, looks down at it and grimaces. He hears the words echo, but is
numb to any feeling of them.

oMama, what would you say about heading home with me? Sam and Danny would like to see
you and ITm sure Cammie wouldnTt mind after a bit. What do you say? I think itTs about ume, Mama.�

She turns back to Miles with a bewildered look, unfurling her hand from his. She

looks back out over the pond with placid eyes.

Fiction: First Place 67

14

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Miles turns away, shoving his hands into his pockets. He stands up and leaves his
chair next to her. He kisses her forehead. She jolts, and sternly returns to the water.
He places the picture of Richard on her quilted lap.

oT love you Mama,� said Miles.

Her brow furrows and her sloped frown purses. She turns to face the swans
soaring over the tree line. She points to the lone bird that fades into a oV� in the
bruising sunset, but lowers her finger to the willow beneath it.

oHey Richard, you see that water lily over there beneath that tree? Remember
that time you took me down to the river?�

He opens his mouth to speak, to ask her to tell him the story one more time like
he had never heard it before, to egg her on at the same pauses so she can get wound up
and say, oItTs true! I know it, I know it!� at the same jokes that she sparks life into. So
she can laugh again. And he can ache again. But he fastens his mouth shut.

His iron chair screeches against the pier when he starts to walk away, but turns
back when she began to speak. °°

oHas that woman had her baby yet?� Jamie asks.

Rivulets of tears trickle down to meet the corners of his smile. Miles says, oBecky had
Cole last week. Sean says your grandson will be wild since there was a full moon out.�

Jamie sighs, sliding back in her chair"the last of the tension in her leaking out
through her settling bones. The crook of her two fingers relax against the side of her
wheelchair, allowing the last memory of her cigarettes to slip into the water.

He settles his ring back in place, and walks back to the truck in silence.

Miles shifts the rearview mirror back on his mother. A man, a nurse, walks over
and sits down in the chair next to her, nodding along as she waves her hands. ~The nurse
laughs and so does she. Miles hopes more than anything that the engine turns over.

It ignites immediately and the gravel clacks against the truck until he gets to the
highway. Miles looks up at the moon, but is weighed down by either sorrow or relief as

the sun floats down over the valley and the swans flap away from the village.

68 oSundowning� By: Garrett Yarbrough

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And no, for the record, ITm not a lesbian, or bisexual, or experimenting, or anything of

the sort- just completely heterosexual. It was fall, it was high school.

We were at some all-county art event. The staff told us we were having lunch
outside. There was a slight breeze in the air. It smelled like someone was burning
firewood nearby. I sat next to that girl. We met online and just so happened to go to
the same high school. We were friends. She was tall and skinny- super skinny. She
had recently dyed her dark brown hair strawberry-blonde and cut it just above her
shoulders. Her skin was pale and her cheeks were rosy. She always wore this black

XL menTs jacket, even though it barely fit her.

We were eating lunch and generally having a good time- laughing with the new
people weTd just met, telling jokes, sharing anecdotes, et cetera. | remember
dropping something on the ground. | donTt remember what it was since that was
seven years ago, but itTs not really important. When | looked down, thatTs when
I saw it: her pain, her suffering, her sadness. It was all there, displayed as red
slashes and scars on her right wrist. I felt my stomach flip and my heart sank. I self-

consciously pulled my own sleeves down.

[ reached over and touched them and she whipped her head around and looked at me. Her smile
had faded. My hand was still holding her wrist. | pulled my own sleeve up slightly so she could see
my own, then | yanked it back down and held her wrist again. ITm here for you, | mouthed to her.

Her eyes started watering. | lifted her arm up and kissed her scars gently.

[let go of her arm and she pulled the large sleeves of her jacket back over her hands. We
hugged, having had an entire conversation without saying anything out loud. I pulled
away from her and held her at arms length, then just smiled at her. She smiled back.

WeTre closer friends now, weTre both better now.

OO "scars By: Aolani Brinsen

POETRY
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I no longer remember what you looked like,
dementor cloak and all as you snuck around my room
stealing every precious thing from me"
No, wait.
Not my room.
Our room.
My sister and i, my sister and 1, my sister
Andi.
I no longer remember what your name was
because every man after you
was the same.
All different,
but all able to steal the warmth from the room
and make me feel
scared"
No, wait.
Not me.
Me and my sister, me and my sister, me and

my sister.
I often asked myself why you were released from azkaban.
Why Dumbledore would allow you to roam free
around the mugele land,

stealing soul after soul.

I will always remember the way she cried.

is) oTo Not Remember All Over Again� By: Kenzie Sharp



lee

14

The tears falling, a hurricane erupting from her silent sobs,
My sister and i, me and my sister
frightened and blaming
ourselves.
Lam glad, now, that I slept by that window.
I only wish I had known what
other precious things you were taking not only from me
but from her, my sister.
We do not talk of it
I do not know which boogey man haunts her room at night.
[am glad to see her smile

but all I want is to cry.

[ remember nothing of you; not your name, not the year, not the day, not the reason
[ let it happen more than once.
I do, however, remember your shout
as | yanked open the blinds.
Scolding me for revealing your horns and tail
oDonTt do that!�
And you ran.

And I remember your bare-ass naked outline running to the hallway.

My boyfriend asks why I donTt wear nightgowns.
And | say because snakes are liable to climb up
and then id have to not remember

all over again.

Poctry: First Place (3

14

First Place " Free�.

oGrowing up, | wasn't allowed to have a icoshenrt. and so longboards |
were kind of a symbol of freedom to me. When | got to college, | had all
this freedom | didn't have at home and when | got my longhoard, not only "

did | have all this freedom, | could also get to more places when | wanted : :

to. | didn't have to wait for buses, | didnTt worry about getting gas, | ,
could just go. ! know it might seem strange to put that much importance "
on an object, but for me, a kid who grew up without wheels, it's more
than just a longboard, it's my escape.� " Nick Leach

Second Place "oStoned�

oThis is a music video for a song | wrote entitled Stoned. The pn

is hased off of a passage from the bible and reflects on how people judge
one another.� " Katie Chruch "

Third Place "oSecure�

oCollege is one of those points in life where everything changes. This film
is a piece about my friend Sean, who, after coming to a crossroads at the
end of highschool, realized he wasn't doing what he really wanted to do.

~ He realized that his dreams were what was most important; which, in turn,
brought him to ECU.� " Nick Leach

Watch films at:
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oThis is a trademark or logo and brochure | made for my brand fhanscand
It is a line of self-improvement products for people with high interest in health -
and spirituality. | went through many different ideas when trying to come up
with the concept and | ended up drawing inspiration from an EDM artist logo
to come up with the idea of the bird. Thanks lllemium!� " Katie Church

Second Place "oAmberjack�

-oTarget audience for the graphic design project was the wale class.

| decided to go alone with an environment to distinguish the fun, relaxing
activity a working class member would do after a day of hard work. Amberjack
~ comes from the name of a fish that can be found anywhere in the fresh waters
of the United States. | wanted the name of the beer and imagery to represent a
common memory for a hard-working individual." " Jacob Dickens

Third Place "oUCDA Poster� ae

oThis Piece was designed with the purpose of informing graphic jnsiaien about
an upcoming conference that was centered around the idea of hand and machine.
This refers to the importance of both traditional and modern graphic design. This
idea is referenced in the poster by incorporating a photograph of metal type

~ through a stencil.� " Brooke Povich

Honorable M Mention " oHungry� |

oLetterpress created with wood type that tells a story. Each print leaves
an impression on the type, showing a part. The dinner table is also a
place where stories are told. Eat, eat, eat reflects 3 meals a day; meals
and opportunities to share stories with loved ones.� " Kayla Clark "

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First Place ""The Hobbit�
oMy art works around fantasy. | love to read fantasy novels and graphic novels,
and there is where | pull most of my ideas into my art.� " Phia Xiong

Second Place "oGroucho Religion�

oThis piece is a mix of graphite charcoal & pastels. It is supposed to convey
a narrative that leaves you wondering what exactly is going on.�

" Michael Richardson

Third Place "oIsolation�

oMost often, people think of isolation & being nuevas as something
negative or self-destructive. However, | feel that isolation, whether it's
a physical location or just a period of time, can reenergize, refocus and
motivate when used widely.T " Alfonzo Johnson

Honorable Mention "oIntrospection� ; :
oA man coming to the end of his life engages in pondering his existence.
The breadth of his experiences and thoughts encompassed in the
numerous outstreched branches of a willow oak.� " John Sommer

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First Place "oTouching Me/Touching You�

oDrawing upon the gay subculture of hears and otters, this series explores
the use of animals as as symbols of identity. Bear fur pendants placed

in juxtaposition to bear imagery reference both the real and imagined
animal, hunting trophies, and historical cameos. The tactile qualities of
the bear fur act as an enticement to engage the viewer into an intimate
space, resulting in a more erotic experience. | am interested in mapping
the relationship between animal and queer symbols and how that might
lead to a greater understanding of the self.� " Adam Atkinson

Second Place " oFragment Brooch #1"

oThis brooch combines etched sterling silver with carved porcelain. The inspiration
for this piece is drawn from fragments of sand dollars collected along the coast
of North Carolina. The wearer is invited to consider interior experiences along
with the imprints left by the exterior world.� " Nadia Massoud

Third Place " oWorry Ring� |

oThis ring, produced by casting carved wax in sterling silver, draws its
Inspiration from the geological phenomenon known as ~TafoniT. The piece
functions as sculpture off the body. When worn, the wearer Is invited to
~move the piece in the hand like a worry stone.� " Nadia Massoud

Honorable Mention " oAfton House�

oOne piece in a collection called Layers that focuses on the adobe
buildings, homes and structures that make up a part of my New Mexican
heritage. This piece is a miniature depiction of a home built during my
great-grandparents time, now only a ruin left as an unofficial monument
in the middle of the desert. By collecting adobe directly from the site as
material to shape this ring, | am able to document and preserve a bit of
the original structure's history.� " Carolina Reyes

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First Place "oFeel Like This Premiere�

oFeel Like This is a mixed media piece realized in Pro Tools. The source
material for this piece comes from a speech given by a 9-year-old
Charlotte native, Zianna Oliphant in response to police brutality. Utilizing
filtering, distortion, and phasing, this piece conveys the struggles and
changes experienced when combating injustice through the intermingling
and transformation of timbres.� " Brittany Green



Second Place "~Tetramania�"�
oTetramania is a piece that | wrote largely as an experimental project.
This ts the first serious piece that I've written for electronic media, and "
goal was to see how much of a variety of sound/timbres | could create with
a single original sounds file. The original sound itself is a four-note motive
that recorded on an acoustic plano {F- (- E- B in descending motion). 1



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First Place " oThe Universe Works�

oInspired by both the physical and metaphorical concepts of roots, | created "
this piece using handmade stains of walnut and coffee to reflect nature as

a perfect system of balance. The black acrylic circle represents my mother
whose words of wisdom are my foundation, giving me the strength to embrace
each challenge that | encounter.o " Sarah Goski

Second Place " oThe Invisible Man�

oThis is my interpretation of writer Ralph Ellison's book The Invisible Man.
| scanned in some papers as well as acrylic paint to tell the story of a man who
felt invisible in Harlem during the Harlem Renaissance. " Marcus Adkins

Third Place "oAggressive Temperaments�

oHandmade, simple fabric dolls with oil painted expressions. These dolls
represent the cultural learning of aggression and other behaviors. Many
people believe that children naturally learn to show aggression, but itis
an expression learned from peers and caregivers.� " Ashley Mathews "

oHonorable Mention ""SheTs Prisen� |
oThis piece is a narrative that was done with graphite and high- resolution
scans of textures and digital color.T " Michael Richardson

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First Place " oLiving Luminance�

oLiving Luminance is a digital painting that | printed and painted on with
acrylic paint. For this piece | was very interested in the way the light reflected
and the colors it created. | titled it Living Luminance because | am always
interested in the way the frame of the candle odances� around and how it is
reflected throughout the room. " Emily Benson

Second Place "oA Moment With Nature�

o| grew up running threw the woods. Pressing my palm to a tree, | could
feel the forest fairies whisper. Take a moment. Breath that air and feel the
essence of the woods. Take a moment with me please."" Lindsay Hutchins

~A Moment With Nature No. 2° ,

oWow. IsnTt this interesting"these beautiful little petals of life clinging to the
wood? The delicacy of even the smallest of things in the forest are endless.
Wow. Take a moment. Take this moment with me.� " Lindsay Hutchins

Third Place ""You Are What You Eat�
oPlaying with the idea that you are what you eat. This is a completely
digital painting.� " Michael Richardson

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First Place "oMirrors� -

oThis was my first experience making a photogravure, and after many trials
and errors, | loved the process in the end. This is the strongest piece out
of the series of images | created by far, and the photograph was just by
chance. | think the unplanned photos turn out to be the most outstanding,
making unplanned the best plan."" Alexandra Cox

Second Place "oI Just Don't Completely Know You"

oThis work is-about my relationship moving to the south & to a small town.
How | am trying to feel a part of a tight-knit community without feeling as
though | am invading? "" Dana Smessaert

Third Place "oWhen the Flower Blossoms, the Bee Will Come�

oWhen a hee sits with its wings down, more often than not, it is
comfortable and at peace. When The Flower Blossoms, The Bee Will
Come, is about that sense of peace, but within one's self, and the calm

that it brings."" Jordan Davis |

Honorable Mention "oUntitled�

oThis piece is an image that captures movement of life with my family. |
like to show the moments that are unique to my family and our
adventures together, always asking myself what is a normal family, and
is there such a thing? o" Amberlynn Bishop

PHOTOGRAPHY

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First Place "oCornucopia�� |
oMuch of our food today comes from corn. The meat we eat comes from
animals. Our bread and candy are made with high-fructose corn syrup.
Apple wax can contain corn, and even baking powder uses cornstarch. Com
" Is everywhere in the grocery store, even hidden in the worst foods that we
purchase. Here, it is revealed.T " Margaret White

Second Place "oLaundromat� |

oThis lithograph was done half digital and half with hand-drawn films.
Only 6 of these prints exist, 2 were distributed to the model Chamois Faith
and photographer Jonah Wall; both ECU undergraduates. My work is about

- woman power and the end of human trafficking."" Brandon Lee

Third Place "oPlaying Ostrich�

o| am from South Korea and issues that are happening in South Korea still
interest me. My work is based on general Korean media such as internet
news. The work is a direct response to that general media."" Youngjae Kim

Honorable Mention "oReflection�
oThis piece is a result of a highly experimental relief printing process. The
~process began with figuring out ways to mark paper without consciously using
my hands. | collected textures from inking-up and printing multiple objects. |
_ then scanned those textures into the computer, resized the image and laser cut
the marks into wood blocks. These blocks were then used to relief print the
_ patterns and textures onto the final piece.� " Jurman Leveston |

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First Place "oFragment (Contemplation Object)�

oCarved from a solid piece of leather-hard porcelain, this small-scale
sculpture acts as a support for contemplation. The viewer can trace the :
contours and surfaces of the object, considering the play between void and
structure. Through changing orientation, the piece draws to mind the difference

_ between what is hidden and what is revealed."" Nadia Massoud

Second Place "oAmerica First�

oThis piece is my interpretation of nationalism. The simplicity and boldness
of the work is open to viewers. What they feel when they see the work ©
varies from individual to individual, and | believe it says something about
their own worldview. " Jessica Bradsher

Third Place "oBirth of Augut�

oIn ancient Rome, augurs were priests who interpreted omens by observing
the flight of birds. These interpretations guided important decisions
such as the appointment of political officials. While reflecting on the
mysterious and somewhat arbitrary candidate selection process for
MFA programs, the ancient role of the augur comes to mind. This piece
signifies my transition into the role of graduate art student and future
gatekeeper of MFA applicants."" Robin Carter

SCULPTURE "

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First Place "oFaith in Layers�

o| started this piece wanting to embed meaning within the layers of the woven structure.
The loom structure was created with the word ofaith� that was translated and transformed
_ fepeatedly woven in a systematic order. The warp of the weaving was hand-painted

" with resist dye techniques. The layers of the weft correspond with the colors of the
warp, each precisely chosen to hest execute the layers.� " Allison Stokely

Second Place "oUntitled�
oThis weaving was inspired by the colors you see in Palm Springs, California.
The rich colors are found in the dense desert landscapes.� " Alicia Roueché

TEXTILE
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First Place "oPrayer ObjectT

o| created this piece as a oprayer� or object of devotion in response to the mass anxiety
that is being recognized amongst our society, culture, and nation. Where many
reach out for a $4.99 ofidget spinner� at the local convenient store for treatment,
| believe in seeking peace and soul rest to treat anxiety and woes of the 21*
century.� " Holly Roddenbery |

Second Place "oAmper-Seat�
oThe Amper-seat is an observation of craft. This process-driven piece
included experimentation with large and small industrial machinery and testing
the bonding tenacity of mixed materials. With Amper-Seat, viewers have the
unique opportunity to experience the ampersand, a typographic character, t in an
unexpected three- dimensional form.�" Kayla Clark

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Student Media at ECU:

Director:

Advisor:

The School of Art and Design at ECU:

Director:

Faculty Advisor for Rebel:

Head of Photography:

ECU School of Art and Design

Photography Team:

Pitt County Arts Council at Emerge:

Theo Davis Printing:

Judges:

Visual Arts:

Literary Arts:

Digital Media Arts:

John Harvey

Terrence Dove

Kate Bukoski
Craig Malmrose

Angela Wells

Brian Culbertson
Dana Smessaert
Epiphany Knedler

Holly Garriott

Kenny Sheperd
& the printing staff

Sim Asher
Katy Mims
Liz Steiner

Anonymous
Anonymous

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Editor:

Designers:

General Manager:

Student Media Staff:

Director:

Advisor:

Emily Brinley

Matthew Thompson
Brenna lownsend

Victoria Schule

John Harvey

Terrence Dove

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T 3 mission of Rebel East Carolina a Universi S Art and ad Literary journal . : z

_ isto produce an annual publication that features only the best work "
, created by nite current graduate and undergraduate students who attend
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ili eraldith

|

|
ie

i

wad

tae Copyright: |

1a Rebel 60is a collaborative effort of East Carolina University Student Media and the School
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